Strangers Anxiety: Meet The Psychologist

Semalam first appointment with psychologist Karyn. Appointment sepatutnya pukul 3.30, tapi pukul 2.50 dia dh sampai.. Mama, papa & Z tengah shopping lagi.. Nasib baik la depan rumah jer.. Bayar jer terus bergegas balik. Z masih tidur. Elok masuk rumah, dia pun terjaga. Melalak jugak la sikit2.. Tapi Karyn pandai handle (nama pun psychologist..), everytime dia nampak Z mcm mencebik2 jer, terus dia tak buat eye contact and tukar topic. So, Z pun x jadik lah melalak.. But there are times yang dia x boleh control, so meraung2 jugak la jadiknya..

According to Karyn, Z having quite INTENSE Strangers Anxiety. Bukan manja or mengada but his crying showed that he is really upset and stress with the situation. She will provide 'plan'  for us to help  Z overcome his anxiety. We have set another appointment next month, but to help us get through our trip to M'sia next week, she did gave us a few tips. 

The main thing is just to make sure that Z is comfortable. Kalau anxiety menyerang, parents should always try to comfort them. jangan nak biarkan dia melalak, because it could make the situation worst! When comforting him, jangan ulangi ayat yg contradicting / sama.. contohnya 'don't cry.. everything is ok..' (mama selalulah cakap cenggini.. T_T ) when the actual fact is -- it is not okay for him. so, better cakap 'mummy is here..' jer or something else.. again dont repeat it over and over.. because it just going to make him focus on the situation. Try to distract him with other thing macam toys ke, or if it getting worst, just withdraw him from the situation. Bawak jalan2 makan angin gitu..

Try to maintain the routine. kalau dah berjalan tu camner la nk ikut routine kan.. but try as much as we could. sebab routine will help him calm or at least realised that not everyhting is changing. so, contohnya routine ketika bangun tido.. ketika mandi.. even makan pun make sure the same meals he has here. Bring the same plate n cuttlery too! also important to bring his favorite toys (banyaknya nk packing..).

Bring over his comfort blanket / bantal busuk if any. or favorite toys.. the thing is, Z mmg takde any preference on those.. the only thing that could calm him down is the ipad. yes..yes.. mmg tak bagus depending on ipad, tapi mengikut Karyn if ipad is the saviour, then just bring ipad everywhere we go :-D.

Karyn ni from New Zealand, so, dia pun faham everytime balik 'kampung' tu, mesti ramai saudara-mara yang akan serbu anak2 dia. so for Z's case, it is best to 'warn' our family that he is having strangers anxiety - in order to avoid dissapointment on both side.. Z memang tak kisah pun kalau berada di tempat yg ramai orang.. Mama kan selalu jer bawak Z pegi shopping sesak2.. He is fine with that.. As long as people are not directing to him dah la.. So, Karyn suggest when first meeting with other people (read: our family) we should advise them;

1. Jangan terus sapa / serbu Zach. Talk with the parent first, so biar he sees that 'oh, that's mummys friends and they are nice..'

2. Bila tengok dia macam dah ok, baru include him in the conversation sikit demi sedikit.. But again, avoid eye contact..

3. Speak calmly.. He dont like loudness (yeah right! Adik beradik mama are very loud.. Good luck!)

4. Do not laugh! (huhuhu..) Ini memang masalah besar and aneh. Z mmg phobia kalau dengar org gelak. kalau org cakap kuat, but not direct to him, he still fine with it.. Tapi kalau org gelak, even kat TV pun, dia boleh nangis.. :(

She also suggest we do the hearing test as soon as possible. Sebab maybe he is very sensitive to certain pitch of sound, sebabtu dia x boleh dengar org gelak..

Hopefully this trip could help Z a bit with the anxiety. Seeloknya try to introduce him to society sikit demi sedikit.. bukan tetiba jer jumpa 3 satu kampung camni.. But what to do.. We still have to go home and meet the family.. So harap2nya he could enjoy his trip to malaysia as much as we do..