Z had ENT appointment on Monday. For once, I thought his anxiety level has improve for the last 3-4 months, but I was so wrong...
Last ENT appointment (Sept/Oct last year) wasnt that bad actually. He did cry a bit when the doctor examine him, but that was it. Takde lah sampai meraung2. Tapi kali ni, he was crying as soon as we enter the consultant room! And the consultant room happen to be the same room as Mr Samy (Surgeon)' room. Sebelum nih jumpa doctor (registrar) on a different room, probably thats why he was ok..
Memang tiap kali jumpa Mr Samy Z akan melalak mcm nampak antu.. Mr Samy is a very nice surgeon actually, dia pun heran kenapa Z asik melalak tiap kali jumpa dia. Mama bagitau la sebab Z ada anxiety expecially bila jumpa strangers, walaupun pelik jugak sebab dia mcm ok jer kalau jumpa doctor lain. But it makes me realised 1 thing now, Z is still having trauma from his surgery last year! It does makes senses now. Patutla dia asyik melalak tiap kali pegi out patient dept sebab kat situ la dia slalu jumpa Mr Samy. And he remembered Mr Samy, Mr Samy is not a stranger to him, but probably somebody that make him 'suffer'.
Aaahh poor Z. Bila di ingat kembali saat Z before surgery last year, memang mama rasa nak peluk Z ketat2. Not the actual surgery yg Z takut. He was knocked out during the surgery, so he wont remember. But the day before that (and of course the whole 3 weeks hospital stay in general), when they want to find out about the blockage. He was wide awake at that time. They rushed him to emergency recess room, then poke him all over the place to empty his tummy. He was screaming so loud at that time. Mama plak hanya mampu berdiri di hujung bilik sambil melalak. After that he was rushed back and forth to the x ray room with camera IN his tummy, with coloured liquid IN his tummy and segala macam test lagilah ---- while he's wide awake! Honestly, mama pun trauma bila kenangkan the situation, apetah lagi Z.. Masih terngiang2 di telinga mama Z menjerit2 'awayyyy!! awayyyyy!! gwayyy!!' yes, he cant speak, but that's exactly his word at that time. actually for the whole 3 weeks stay in the hospital. Tiap kali dia nampak nurse or doctor datang jer, mesti dia jerit 'gwayyy!!'.
Memula mama heran jugak, apa yang Z jeritkan. Asik ulang mende yang sama jer, and its a new words, very different to his regular babbling. Bila Mairead (Home Teacher) datang the next day, dia yg bagitau mama OMG, I think he say 'Go Away!' . We never heard the words again since he's out of the hospital. So he really meant what he said.. Mairead informed Maeve (Psychologist) about that, and she thinks Z must has traumatic experience when he was in NICU, that's where the anxiety comes actually. Pelik juga, takkan la umo 2-3 hari dah boleh ingat (he was in NICU for 16 days), apparently it could come subconciously according to Maeve..
|Day 2 of life - Post DA Operation|
Back to ENT appointment, this time for his hearing. Dah 2 kali pegi buat hearing test in clinic North George's St (not hospital), but wasnt successful because Z wont cooperate or in other word, Z was crying! So they refer us to hospital, with the hope that ENT team here could perform the test. Which is not. But at least this time they could do pressure test, and it was confirmed that he had fluid behind his ears. The Consultant still want to have the hearing test result before he could decide putting a grommet. So we have to reschedule the test in 6 weeks time.
|Z during ABR test in Gleneagles, Msia summer 2012|