Lilypie Premature Baby tickers

Lilypie Premature Baby tickers

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Where's Update?

mama tersangat2lah bisinya di office sekarang nih. x sempat nak update perkembangan Z. selalunya mama akan prepare entry malam2 and then edit n post the entry masa di office, now malam2 pun dh susah mama nk online..

sebabnya, Z dah start tido lambat! dulu pukul 7pm Z dah tido, 2 minggu kebelakangan nih, pukul 9 lebih baru Z tido. the good thing is, mama could spend more time playing with Z. the not so good thing pulak, from 7pm onward, Z dah start cranky and want to be held all the time.. so, mmg keje mama mengulit anak kesayangan mama yg super duper manja tu jer lah.. lepas Z dah tido lah baru mama boleh makan2 relax2 sekejap. but then, bangun pagi still seperti biasa i.e. 6am. mama pulak lately mmg asik penat ajer.. mesti masih dalam separa sedar time Z bangun tuh. kadang2 sumbat susu pun tak masuk mulut. sedar2 Z dah bebel2 aje.. kesian Z kene main sorang2 di pagi hari.

nasib baik lah ada helper. walaupun dia agak pemalas n menyakitkan hati, tapi mama rasa agak susah kot kalau tak de helper nih. tak terbayang mcm mana mama nak uruskan Z sorang2. nak kena siapkan Z pagi2 ke creche, kena pulak time hujan or winter.. adoiiii.. kalau papa tinggal bersama tu, lain lah ceritanya. tapi next year mama still mahu hantar Z ke creche (nursery) jugak kot.. half day pun jadik lah.. supaya Z dapat improve his communication skills and tak de lah bosan sgt dia asik main bende yg sama jer kat rumah tu.. but its all depend on his progress lah..

ok lah, dah habis lunch hr dah nih. nanti mama update lagi pasal progress Z yer..

Friday, June 17, 2011

London-Oxford n Anniversary

Last week papa and mama didn't go to work. We went to England for 4 days. Our journey started really early on sunday morning and i was still sleepy when we reached the airport. Mama said we could save some money on early flights.. I am not sure if it worth it though...

We arrived London around 9.30am n after having our breakfast at the airport, we took a bus to Oxford city. I really enjoy my bus journey. I saw lots of cars n trucks and also cows and horses and sheep. mama keep singing the wheel on the bus and old mcdonald songs to me throughout the whole journey. Despite her out of tune voice, i do love it :D

First day in Oxford, we havent done much. Papa said people in Oxford are genius. So, papa force me to read my book the whole time i was there. Maybe because we are in one of the top and oldest university in the world, i seem to enjoy my reading too.

In the evening, pak lang arrived all the way from malaysia. Last time i met him was 6months ago. I barely recognised him, but pak lang said he misses me soo much and kiss n hug me all the time. I think i love pak lang too.. After all, he really loves mama and always be there when mama needs help.

Monday 6th June was mama n papa's 2nd year anniversary. They said they dont need a romantic gateway because they rather spend their time with me :D. So we went for Oxford city sightseeing using the hop-on hop-off bus. I slept most of the time so, i dont really saw the uniqueness of the university buildings. Hopefully next time papa n mama will bring me to Oxford again..

That afternoon during our lunch, we met uncle anuar. Mama said uncle anuar is a famous malaysian singer and mama n papa were really excited meeting him. (Mama thinks uncle anuar is really charming n good looking). I dont know much about his talent, but i do think he is a really nice person. We stayed in the same hotel, so we met him few times.

On the 3rd day, we went to Bicester Village. Me n papa think its a boring place. After few shops, we've surrendered and just sat in the coffee house. While mama on the other hand running here and there. Mama bought few clothes for me n papa and she got herself the second handbag for this week. Mama said she needs more bags to put my belongings.. well, if it is for me, then im ok with it :P.

After check out, we headed back to London. It took nearly 2 hours by cab before we reached our hotel. The traffic was quite bad. This was supposed to be my second visit to London, but I don’t remember London much during my first visit except for the aquarium and London Eye (I was either busy sleeping or playing with Logan). This time I refused to sleep when mama asked me to. I tried to look for a sky like I always did in a car, but I couldn’t see it. Then I realized that London has lots and lotsss of tall and glassy building. They were really amazed me. That night we went to Pak Lang’s friend's house for some Malaysian authentic dinner.

On day 4, we check out early in the morning and we went to Bayswater. Mama n papa wanted to makan2-ala2-melayu at Bayswater area. After lunch, we then took a train from Victoria Station to Gatwick airport and our flight depart London at 5.30pm.

After 4 days of being a Mr. Nice Guy, I decided to stir things up a bit in the flight. Actually I don’t really want to go home, so I thrown a bit of my tantrum. I refused to wear the seat-belt and started to jump and scream. I also don’t want to drink my milk and when the flight took off, I felt a little pressure on my ears. I realized when I scream, it ease a bit. So, I kept screaming… When papa try to hold me, I cried my heart out and made papa feel guilty. Papa thought that he has tripped n braked my leg. I pretend to cry every time he touched my legs to check if anything went wrong which makes him even worried. Actually i just prefer to sit with mama because i could see the sky through the window :P. After about 45 mins of chaotic moments, I’ve surrendered and remain calm.. but it was fun though.. especially when I saw mama’s n papa’s face :P.

I really enjoy my trip. Even after we come back from the trip, i still enjoyed it. because mama n papa were at home for the rest of the week. I love spending time with both of them. I havent seen them much, especially papa.. I can only meet him during weekends. Hopefully in future, i got to see them more...

Anyway, when’s our next holiday mama n papa?

Sunday, June 12, 2011

10 Months Old!

Cepatnyaaa masa berlalu.. In 2 months time, Z dah masuk setahun.. Berdebar2 pulak mama.. Teringat entry detik2 kelahiran Z yg masih belum siap tu.. Hmm.. Have to finish them in these 2 months lah.. *uhuk2*

Anyway, berat Z as of today is 8.4 kg. It should have been more, tapi during our trip last few days (which i will blog about soon later2) Z x berapa makan / minum sangat. Mmg terasa lah yg beliau semakin kurus dan ringan.. :(

In term of development, he is soo babbly!! Dah ada 2 syllibus.. Tatatatatata...dadadaddadada..babababaaa.. Sblm nih pun he's babling jugak.. But more like cooing jer lah.. Aaaaa uuuu hmmmm gitu :)

Z sangat peramah orgnya.. Tapi kalau baru berjumpa tu, mmg dia akan diam aje lah.. Dah lama2 tu, mmg sakanlah dia berborak. Masa dlm flight haritu, we sat beside a good looking lady amboi2 nak oooiiii.. Bukan main lagi dia dok menggatal dgn minah tu. Selalunya mmg dia susah skit nk berborak dgn org tak kenal, but with this lady, punyalah dia peramah. Minah tu pandang jer tempat lain, mesti Z akan panggil2. Then asik gelak2 mengekek2.. Hish, kecik2 dah pandai yerr.. Malu lah mama..hehehe

Another thing is, Z dah start showing tantrum. Kalau dia mengamuk, mmg menjerit2 berguling2 jadiknya.. Hmm, mmg anak mama lah tu.. Mama mmg terkenal satu kampung kecik2 dulu kalau bab2 mengamuk nih hihihihi..

Dia jugak suka menjerit. Especially when being left alone. Then kalau dia nk sesuatu, tapi x dpt contohnya mcm nk ambik toys depan dia, but because he can not move yet, mmg dia akan menjerit marah2. Kesian bibik, asik kena marah jer. kalau tgh tgk his favorite DVD tu, jgn lah ganggu.. mesti dia akan marah2 jugak.. Kalau Z marah mama, selalunya mama malas nak layan sgt. Nanti he got the idea yg by screaming, he will get his way. Tak nak lah macam tu sayangg...

Z masih blom boleh merangkak or duduk. Tapi meniarap tu dh makin hebat. Dah boleh pusing2 but still can not move forward or backward. Dah boleh push up a bit. So insyaAllah x lama lagi bolehlah bergerak tu yer..:)
Duduk (with support) pun bertambah pandai.. Dah tak perlu sandar2 lg. Good progress my dear! :)

Jumperoo still his favorite. Could jump for hours. Tapi i wont let him sit there for more than 30 mins lah.. Kalau jumping tu, mmg sampai gegar2 habis. Then he also has discovered yg he actually could rotate his body using jumperoo tu. Mmg pusing2 jer lah kejenyaa.. I think thats probably why he love it so much. Dia mesti rasa hebat sangat sbb have freedom to move kan..:)

Its ok honey.. Sooner or later, you will definitely be able to walk n run like others too.. Just it will take more time jer lah..

Yesterday, for the first time social worker from St. Michael House (SMH) datang visit. Basically he want to access Z n see what type of help required. Z definitely needs physiotherapy. But he said Z already have a strong head, arms and legs control. So he doesnt needs that much help. The physio will be here every six week aje just to give little help. Then for speech therapy pun, he thinks Z should be ok since he already show a good communication skills plus he doesnt have any issue with feeding, which normally gave a good indication on speech effect. But still, he will refer Z to speech therapist just for screening.

Then we also talk a lot about SMH and what their plan for Z in future. Also what benefit we got from government which is actually quite a lot! Alhamdulillah, i can see quite a clear path now. Of course im worried what his future will be, but at least i know we have some of the best facilities that could help us in providing the best for him.

last but not least, video Z tgh bubbling :)

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Thursday, June 2, 2011

Some Things Are Better Left Unsaid

To tell or not to tell..

Z has a mild case of DS, his conditions are not that apparent. His own neonatal team didn’t even realized it for the first week. Normal doctors (read: not pediatrician) hasn’t had clue that he has DS if we did not mentioned it. And even most of my friends are doctors/surgeons, none of them ever mentioned or have any query about it. I was kind of hoping that people will know it straight away by looking at his face. But I don’t think it happening any time soon.. maybe in future, his features & symptoms will getting stronger where people can easily make their own assumptions, but for now it is up to us whether we are to make the announcement or not.

For the past few months, this issue has been bugging my head constantly. There are part of me that just wanted to scream out loud telling everybody about my baby conditions. No, not for seeking sympathy, but I just feel that people should know and should accept him the way I accepting him. Also, I feel like I’ve been living in a lie pretending that everything is alright, when it is definitely not. I am worried that people will think I still not accepting the fact that my son is different from others by hiding it. To be honest, I really wish I could talk about it freely.. I want to express my worried to others. I want to deal with it more openly..

But… I am not sure about others acceptance. Will they treat my son differently? Will they react differently towards me after they knew the fact? I always believe that my friends are all educated enough to react positively on his conditions. But at the same time, I also worried that they will feel sorry for me.. they might feel uncomfortable talking about the issue and even worst they might avoid talking to me just because they don’t want to hurt my feelings.

And today, it is proven what I am worrying about is in fact true. As we were having our normal morning break, we were talking about pregnancy and motherly instinct on their unborn child. 1 of my colleague ‘A’ make a shock and honest statement. She said, when she was pregnant, she was so worried that her baby will have a ‘problem’ because at that time our colleague ‘B’ (who happen to be away today) constantly talk about her special need child (which I will story later). This happen 7-8 yrs ago. And she still think that the story she heard from B really affecting her feeling at that time. Then my other colleague ‘C’ who is currently pregnant also express her concern about the stories she heard from her friends about DS baby which also make her felt uncomfortable. An how she wish she don’t have to hear all those sad story. And there I am.. sitting in the middle of their conversations listening carefully to what they said while part of me want to jump out and say ‘ hey my baby has down syndrome too!’ but instead, I just stood there.. nodding my head.. thinking of how this conversation has given an answer to my very own situation.. while of course trying to hold myself from crying..

I am not making any judgment here. I am fully aware, they are not against any of those special need childs. Its more about their concern and sympathy towards those children and their parents as they said. Especially when Alan (B’s Son) who is currently in the hospital due to failure kidney. To be honest I don’t really know Alan’s exact conditions as I was worried I’m going to hurt B’s feeling if I asked about him (<--noted already="" and="" bed.="" before="" br="" but="" degree="" having="" her="" his="" informed="" life="" me="" most="" of="" on="" retardation.="" she="" some="" son="" spending="" that="" the="">
See, from my very own experience, long before I have Z, I also have the same feeling. No, not feeling of disgusting or anything against disabled / learning difficulties people.. but more towards sympathy and uneasiness. I just don’t know how to react. I think because the lack of knowledge that make me react that way. I might not felt the same way towards people with DS. The only reason is, 1 of my niece (15 years old) also has DS. Yes, Z is not the first one. In fact, he is the third in our family. My youngest aunty ‘maksu’ (40 years old) also has DS. (NO this is not genetic transfer or keturunan. We have confirmed that from Chromosome study we did before.. it just happen randomly.. and our family just happen to be the chosen 1 :)). So, back to the story, because I already have experience with people with DS, I normally wont have the same uneasiness feeling towards them, unlike when I have to deal with any other type of disabilities. Just when I have my own son that I realized how important is this knowledge. I guess, only when you experience it yourself then you will understand it more right?

So, as a conclusion, NO, I don’t think they are ready to hear the truth yet. And not just my office mates, but the same goes to my real life friends. I am sorry my dear friends.. it never be my intention to hide such a news from you guys, I just don’t think it is necessary YET to tell. Unless of course if any of you asked, then I will definitely not going to hide it. Hope you guys will understand the situation we are facing at the moment. I know every person will react differently, and I know there are some of my friends that deserve to know.. but it just not the right time yet.. sooner or later you will eventually know. And if by chance, any of you ever bumped to this blog, please please please be remember that we really value our friendship, therefore we don’t want you guys to feel the unnecessary burden or uncomfortness. We treasure our journey with Z and we entirely happy with his present, and for that reason, we really appreciate if you guys will accept him just the way he is.

p/s: at least I have this blog where I can freely share my feelings and concern…