Lilypie Premature Baby tickers

Lilypie Premature Baby tickers

Thursday, December 16, 2010

We are back in Eire

Dh hampir 2 mgu dh kami kembali ke bumi ireland nih. Its freezing n snowing everywhere. So mmg tak keluar rumah ler sbb risaukan si kenit tu.. Last week dh jumpa GP for screening, risau gak with the long journey n extreme weather change kang z^ch demam2 ke apa.. Alhamdulillah he is ok so far..

Will update more soon when we got our broadband..

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Moments when my heart stop beating… (cont.)


Sunday, 7th Nov 2010
aIMG_0838 Day 1
Lepas suma urusan admission, kami pun dibawa ke bilik. Then around 7pm, doctor datang utk ambik darah n masukkan cannula utk drip. Masa nk ambik darah tu, doctor cakap yg both hand dia dh terlalu banyak kene cucuk.. urat2 suma dh herot2.. huhuhu..siannn anak mama.. melalak tu toksah ckp ler.. siap terjerit2 teresak2 lg.. lama plak tu process nk ambik darah tu, sbb doctor perlukan 2 tube.. mummy terpaksalah buat muka keringg jerr.. lepas jer doctor n nurses blah, mummy plak yg melalak2.. waaaaa… x sampai hati tgk.. sob..sob..
mlm tu jugak diorang start antibiotic n masuk air. then every hr mesti nurse akan dtg utk ambik temperature. nasib baik suhu dh turun to 38 degree.. tidonya pun dh tak mengerang sgt.. mummy pun dh boleh tido skit2.. tapi still kena pangku laa..
 
Monday, 8th Nov 2010
aDSC04161
pagi tu dlm pukul 9.30am, dr sharifah dtg with the blood result.. Yes, it was confirmed that the bacteria has reached the brain!! his protein-CRP level is 169 (normal hanyalah 5). tapi alhamdulillah mineral2 lain still within normal range, mengikut kata doctor that shows that the infection still at early stage.. she will continue the treatment for 7 days.. better over treated, than under treated katanya.. and of course i agree to that..
again, lepas jer doctor n nurse keluar, i cried my heart out! why oh why my poor baby has to go through all this..
Petang tu doc dtg lagi. His diarrhoea becoming worst. stool mmg cair habis.. perut pulak mmg bloated. doc kata mmg activity dlm perut dia sgt active. since he is consuming Isomil (yg mmg slalunya digunakan utk treated baby yg cerry berry), doctor pun pelik apesal dia masih x baik2.. maybe the soya based gave impact to his tummy kot.. soya kan banyak angin… so she gave us susu Novalec (lactose free jugak, but from cow’s base).
 
Tuesday, 9th Nov 2010
aDSC04141 Day 3
His temperature dh turun to 37 degree.. Alhamdulillah, demam dh baik.. suam2 jer badan.. ada la ketika waktu yg temperature naik skit, tapi still ok nurse ckp..
Tapi his diarrhoea still x baik2.. tambah teruk ada la kot.. his stool dh kaler putih jer.. susu novalec tu mmg mcm pelek skit texture n smell dia. memula ok aje dia minum, tapi harini he refused to drink any. bila doc dtg petang nya, i complaint laa.. so, doctor pun allow him to take isomil balik.. dapat jer isomil, terus dia minum dgn rakusnya.. siaann anak mama kelaparan.. huhuhu
 
Wednesday, 10th Nov 2010
aDSC04145
smlm his diarrhoea looks improving. dh start ada sikit2 solid dlm his stool tu.. so, masa doc dtg paginya, i told her the great news laa.. doc pun happy with the progress.. pastu tgh dok borak2 dgn doctor tu, tetiba jer dia berry2 lagi. doctor pun nk tgk ler.. skali bila bukak jer diapers tu, there is BLOOD!!!!
terkejut beruk ler kitorang.. banyak n fresh plak tu.. terus doctor suruh nurse ambik sample n request for another blood test. doctor kata dia takut pada 2 possibilities – 1st takut ada problem with his operation. terbukak ke apa ker.. and 2nd is rotavirus.
again, lepas doctor keluar, mamanya melalak2.. lepas satu, satu perkara terjadi to my poor baby.. mcm2 yg berlegar2 di kepala saya.. *sigh*. my baby pulak asik laa melalak sbb kelaparan.. tapi doc suruh puasa.. ya Allah, mmg both anak n emak melalak2 ler jawabnya… nasib baik bilik single, x perlu nk cover2 malu ke hape ke.. 
petang tu doc dtg lagi with the result. dia kata she couldnt find any problem with the blood. so, tatau kenapa tetiba jer berdarah. maybe sbb his usus got too much information kot.. dgn berbagai jenis ubat.. dgn tukar2 susu lagi.. dgn temperature yg tak menentu lagi.. dia ckp suruh monitor jer the blood. kalau worsen, baru she will do another test. that time, there’s still blood in his stool, tapi x sebanyak pagi tadi laa..
the good news is, his protein CRP level dh turun ke 36 (from 169)! thats a huge improvement!
owh, Z^ch pun dh boleh minum, but doc suruh start with 30ml jer dulu.. dia slalu minum 100ml, mana cukup.. waaaa… kesian betol tgk dia melalak2 tu.. dh la tak boleh dukung bawak jenjalan sbb ada drip tu kan.. adoiii.. kesiannn dia..
 
Thursday, 11th Nov 2010
aDSC04155
This morning, blood dh tak der.. lega skit hati mummy.. diarrhoea pun dh semakin berkurangan.. tapi bum-bum dia melecet terukkk sangat.. merah n berbiji2.. setiap kali tukar diapers jer, mesti dia melalak2.. dh la diarrhoea, bnyk kali ler kena tukar.. sampai dh serak2 suara dia..
doc dh kasik minum 2oz per session.. so, ok la skit.. walopon he still merengek2 wants more every time he finished the milk. Ptg tu doc dh stop drip. yeay! akhirnya bebas.. barulah boleh bawak dia jalan2 sekitar bilik.. he looks better n cheerful.. alhamdulillah..
 
Friday, 12th Nov 2010
aDSC04174
kalau ikutkan doc dah kasik balik harini.. tapi esok kena dtg lg la utk last antibiotic.. i pikir2, mcm susah jer nk ulang alik, so we choose to stay for another night.
Apart from diarrhoea n melecet2 tu,Z^ch pun dh semakin ok.. asik meniarappp jer kejenya.. yer la, dh brp hari tangan kena ikat, bila dh stop drip tu, mmg bergolek2 jer laaa :)
 
Saturday, 13th Nov 2010
Last antibiotic was given at 11am.. slalunya 1-2 hrs dh habis dh.. tapi sbb diorang dh berhentikan iv drip tu, the line dah blocked n drip tu mmg slow habis laa.. nurse mintak nk cucuk lg sekali utk masukkan line baru.. Nehiiii!! dh ler last treatment dh, ko nk tebuk lg skali tgn munggil anakku?? saya ckp saya sanggup tunggu..
tunggu punya tunggu, dh pukul 3pm. antibiotic baru habis separuh jer.. hadoiii.. camner nih?? last2 nurse call doctor sharifah. doc kata tak per la.. stop jer la.. x berbaloi pun nk cucuk line baru..
so there it was.. after 1 week at hospital, we were finally home.. another episode of our live.. there were times when i felt lost, give-up, angry and weak.. but i know things happen for reasons. and i thank to Allah for the strength n patient He gave me.. above all, I am thankful for the best gift i ever had in my life - Z^ch^ry Aiman… mummy love you so much sayang..




































Thursday, November 18, 2010

Moments when my heart stop beating…

What will you do when your baby having seizure and its public holiday where all nearby clinics were closed and to make the matter worst, you cant reach any hospitals because its was flooded everywhere… ARGGHHHHH!!!!sick

:: Image googled ::

Jumaat, 5th Nov 2010 (Deepavali day)

Se awal pagi lagi kami dah keluar utk ke rumah my aunty.. saje lepak with my cousin yg baru jer deliver a new baby boy. Z^ch masih lagi ceria seperti biasa. tgh hari tu pun dia masih blom menunjukkan apa2 perubahan. then around 2pm cam tu, he asleep. pukul 4pm i woke him up for his milk. masa tu i dh rasa mcm suam2 jer badan dia.. tak sedap hati, terus ajak my mum balik..

sampai rumah, kemas2 barang suma, around 5.30 gitu i rasa badan dia macam dah panas sgt nih.. test his temperature, dah 37.8 degree. terus i amik cool fever and tepek kat dahi dia.. then 6pm i checked his temperature again, dah 38.5! OMG! terus gelabah.. dah demam panas nih. terus call my cousin, dia suruh lap2 dengan air..

bila his temperature reach 39++ hati mmg dh tak tenang dah..sambil lap2 badan dia, sambil2 call sana sini.. sebabkan deepavali, suma clinic berdekatan tutup.. hmm, besok jer la baru boleh g clinic nih.. nasib baik i still have paracetamol yg doctor kasik time dia kene jab dulu.. so, kasik dia minum ubat tu ler dulu

malam tu, his temperature tak turun2 jugak..my mum ambik daun bunga raya putih utk buat air lap2.. still jugak tak berkesan. dia dh start menangis2 n mengerang2 x selesa.. memang i riba jer the whole time..

then around 10pm, lepas menyusu, i keep talking to him and he smile back, suddenly his eyes rolling!!!! badan pun dah mcm keras2.. terus i meraung.. MAAAAKKKKK kenapa dgn Z^ch nih? my mum tgk and cakap,ya Allah dia dah tarik nih! nasib baik my nieces / nephew ada yg  pernah jadik, so at least my mum knows what to do. sambil melalak2 tu, i open his shirt and lap2 seluruh badan dgn air yg banyak.. agak lama jugak it happen. dlm 3-5 mins gitu.. at last he started to cry… phew, legaa.. thats mean he is back..

my mom terus call my uncle pak ndak. i masa tu dh siap2 dah. what ever happen, i want to bring him to the hospital. then pak ndak n mak ndak dtg. diorang baca2 n hembus2 skit.. (diorang nih ustaz ustazah) he looks  a bit better, but his eyes still mcm juling2. pak ndak ckp most road to alor star ditutup sebab banjir mcm mana i nk g hospital.. tak pedulik, i have to try. maybe ada jalan yg dh dibukak..

so, at 11pm my uncle pun volunteer and drove us to alor star.our aim is to find any hospital yg available. sampai alor star, we tried few roads. suma tak boleh nak lalu. air terlalu tinggi sampai pinggang. both KMC and PMC mmg tak boleh nk pegi. HSB lagi la x boleh.. kami berpusing2 meredah air banjir tu sampai pukul 1 pagi.

ya Allah, dugaan apakah ini? i keep on crying.. at the same time, mak ndak yg hold Z^ch, sambil2 dia bacakan doa.. so, dalam keterpaksaan, we have to headed back home. malam tu kami tidur di rumah atok sbb risau if anything happen again.

it was a very long and painful night. his temperature dah naik to 40. lepas tu i mmg tak check dah sbb takut sgt tgk.. his eyes pun still juling2 and he demand to be hold all the time. mmg me n my mum x tido langsung that night. i keep on checking the clock. cepat laa pagi… i nk bawak dia pegi clinic berdekatan.. i mmg x leh pandang langsung muka dia..  especially his eyes.. mmg meleleh2 jer air mata.. last2 my mum yg dukung and keep on lap2 his body.

 

Saturday, 6th Nov 2010

Tepat jer 9am, i terus drove to the nearby clinic. rupa2nya clinic masih tutup sbb deepavali. hari jumaat mmg cuti di kedah. so diorang ambik sabtu as public holiday.. dlm keadaan ting tong sbb x tido smlm, i drove to pekan pendang. first few clinics we pass by mmg tutop. tapi nasib baik ler ada satu clinic (Klinik Dr Rahimah) ni bukak. tapi punya laaa ramai org.

jumpa doctor, she didnt express any worried or concern. cuma dia agree his temperature mmg tinggi sangat. dia kasik ubat demam, antibiotic n ubat cirit. thats it. ok fine, may be i jer yg gelabah lebih kot…

doctor Rahimah cakap mmh hospital suma tak boleh pegi. kalau pegi pun diorang akan suruh ke penang or sungai petani jer sbb bekalan electric suma terputus.. hmm.. then, from news air bertambah naik di kawasan alor star.. *sigh* kenapalah ini semua terjadi??

anyway, balik rumah petang tu mcm tak de apa2 perubahan pun.. his temperature still 39++ and even worst, he started having diarrhoea. so, again we were having a very long night.. but slightly better sbb at least dia dah boleh tido walaupun kejap2 aje..

 

Sunday, 7th Nov 2010

pagi2 tu, news kat radio ckp air dh surut skit and ada few roads yg dh dibuka.. so, i terus rang KMC. the reception ckp air depan hospital dh kering, tapi only 1 road jer yg boleh access. and specialist will only be in after 2.30. tu pun only 1 pead jer yg dpt dtg.lain2 suma masih terkandas.

so ptg tu, cousin i Fairuz yg drove us to KMC (dia tau alternative road). sampai sana, as expected mmg ramai btol kanak2 yg sakit. yer laa, dh brp hari hospital tutup.. harini berpusu2 ler org datang. our pead dr Lim mmg x der. yg ada dr Sh Khadijah jer.. we got our turn dlm pukul 5pm.

jumpa jer doctor, citer2 all history.. doctor terus concern. dia ckp its normal for babies utk kene demam n seizure nih, but not for under 6 month old! tambahan pulak with his history of premature, DA and DS mmg high risk for infection to reach his brain.. ya Allah, dengar jer mende tu, terus gigil2 jer rasanya.. so, she advise us to stay and she will start the antibiotic as soon as possible.

eh, tuan kecik saya dh bangun.. will continue later..

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Ya Allah.. Kepadamu aku memohon..

Ya Allah.. Ringankan lah kesakitan yg ditanggung oleh buah hatiku ini..
Ya Allah... Berilah aku kekuatan utk menempuh ujianMu ini..

Z^chary was admitted due to high temp fever and seizure attack on 5th Nov. his body (and probably brain) already being infected and currently on antibiotic.
he just recovered from the fever, and now started having diarrhoea - with blood!



mama love u soo much sayang. please be strong and get well soon..

-KMC room 515-

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Meniarap?

Since last 2 weeks lg baby Z^ch^ry sungguh galak main rolling2 nih. pantang letak jer mula lah dia nk senget2. pastu bila x dapat meniarap, mesti mengamuk.. aduiii…! ikut perangai sapa la nih.. (*ehem).

at the age of 2 months and 2 weeks (or 6 week adjusted age consider that he is a premie) he finally being able to roll himself.

well, x sure la if it can be categorised as meniarap or not  sebab ----- he actually cant even raise his head yet!! akibatnya bila dah telangkup tu, mula lah dia tenyeh2 muka dia kat tilam. he could move his face from side to side, but for some reason, dia prefers utk sembamkan muka dia. sampai merah2 pipi n hidung. tapi dia x lak menangis. muka bangga jer every time boleh meniarap tu. then bila dh meniarap, dia akan berusaha utk push up plak.. in a way, bagus jugak boleh strengthen his neck.. tapi masih belum berjaya..

of course saya tak kan biarkan dia tersembam tu lama2.. kang tak bleh bernafas plak.. itu yg merisaukan tu.. memang tak boleh biarkan dia sendirian dah ler.. kang ada yg tergolek jatuh katil plak..

mari kite tgk aksi si kecil nih..

 DSC04116

:: Kawan2, mari belajar rolling bersama saya ::

DSC04117:: mula2 kite mengiringkan badan sedikit ::

DSC04118  :: kemudian, dengan lonjakan yg kuat, kite telangkupkan badan kite ::

DSC04120 :: sila betulkan tangan anda supaya tidak tersepit yer kawan2 ::

DSC04121 :: aahh… that’s better ::

DSC04122:: now it’s time to lift your head pulak.. PUSH! ::

DSC04125  :: Oopps! Why my montot yg naik lebih tinggi dari kepala? hihihi ::

 

tak per lah.. esok cuba lagi yer.. mummy so proud of you dear.. buat pelan2 pun x per.. practise make purrfect! :)

 

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Susu oh susu – part II (The Formulas)

Pening jugak nak mencari formula milk yg bersesuaian nih..

masa kat NICU diorang kasik Lactogen, tapi i’m not happy with it. his stool nampak a bit watery n berketul2. tapi i beli la jugak lactogen sebagai back up bila dah discharged tu.. first week kat rumah dia mmg fully breastfeed, but when his weight turun mendadak tu, i did top up a bit with lactogen.

tak berpuas hati dgn lactogen, i bought Anmum plak.. first week minum mmg ok.. his stool pun nampak normal jer.. but bila masuk jer 2nd week, dia dh start nangis2 tiap kali membuang n his stool bertambah watery.. he also poops everytime i gave him formula. bila kasik breast milk ok pulak. my SIL cakap mesti sbb x sesuai susu tu..

so off me go to the shop and get Snow pulak.. sempat minum sehari jer susu snow tuh. terus cirit birit.. haish.. kebetulan nurse datang, dia suggest NAN pulak. emaknya ni pun pegi lah beli NAN.. tetap tidak berkesan!!

at that time mmg depend on breastmilk jer laa.. but keadaan becoming worst bila his weight terus turun masa weekly check up with his paed kat HSB tu. doctor dah buat surat utk admit dia.. they want to monitor his weight n feed him through tube. saya mmg tak berpuas hati laa bab nak masukkan tube tu. enough with the pain he had for the first 2 weeks of his life!.. lgpun dia bukannya tak nak minum, tapi blom jumpa susu bersesuaian jer.. plus his having cirit birit as well, sbb tu he is losing weight.

nasib baik masa tu Dato dr Teh (Head of Paed Dept) ada. i ask her if they can give me few more days. i promise kalau his weight tak naik jugak after this, then they can admit him. so, she allows us to go home.. :) dah jadik mcm tu, i went back to lactogen laa.. walopon he still pooping every feeding, tapi at least tak de la cirit birit.. Alhamdulillah after a week, his gaining weight. so, diorang x jadik ler admit.. :)

after few weeks with lactogen, my milk supply bertambah kurang. instead of 2-3 kali top up per day, dah increase to 5 times per day. lepastu his stool bertambah watery n kadang2 tu mcm cirit jugak.. then perut mmg kembung sentiasa. tak tau dah nk buat mcm mana, i think its time to change the formula milk to soya base. drpd symptom2 tu  he probably have lactose intolerance (main agak2 sendiri jer nih).

so Isomil it is.. Alhamdulillah masalah pembuangannya selesai.. his stool pun soft n yellow/brownish jer.. perut pun dah tak kembung lagi..

but 1 of the doctor in HSB told my friend (her son has quite similar problem with Z^ch) that soy based milk x brp bagus compared to cow’s base.. banyak ler kekurangannya.. hmmm.. i read the content, lebih kurang sama jerr.. then tak berpuas hati, i asked paed at KMC, dia ckp mmg ler dulu2 punya soy base milk tak bagus sangat.. but isomil dah pun di advancekan and has been added with all sort of ingredients utk setanding dgn cow’s base..hmmm.. ok la tu kot.. we have been using Isomil for more than a month now..

however, being me, still x berpuas hati.. search more info from internet. mmg rata2 ckp soy base tu tak bagus sgt. you shouldn’t gave soy base milk to your infant unless mmg dah tak der choice lain dah..

so, pagi semalam, just being curious, saya pun gave him anmum. just ONCE nk tgk ok ke tak.. sekali, tgh hari tu terus dia cirit birit…mmg kuar mcm air jer.. WAAAAAAAaaaaaa…!! I am sorry sayangggg… nampaknya mmg confirm he is lactose intolerance..

plan kalau harini tak baik2 jugak, mmg kena bawak g pead jer la.. Alhamdulillah dah ok skit. berak2 tu dh kurang laa.. and his stool pun dah more solid n soft dah.. but his tummy still unsettled laa.. kembung2 lagi.. huhuhu.. kesian anak mama.. I AM SO SORRY DEAR….

hopefully kat ireland ada la Isomil nih.. or any soy base or lactose free milk.. sana mmg tak bnyk sgt choice.. mmg mummy kene angkut stock bebanyak ler sbg bekal bwk balik sana nanti..



updated - OMG! apesal Isomil naik harga dgn mendadak? last 2 week beli baru RM53 ke RM56 ntah.. today dah jadik RM63++.. but with new added formula katanya.. hopefully Z^ch x de alahan ler dgn new ingredients tu..

Monday, October 18, 2010

Detik-detik Kelahiran Part I (pre-delivery)

Setelah lebih 2 bulan, barulah nk menceritakan detik2 kelahiran nih.. hehehe.. tak per lah, asal adaa.. yg penting sebagai memory di kemudian hari.. 

8th August 2010

Seperti yg tlh diarahkan oleh Dr Bava, harini saya perlu melaporkan diri di hospital Sultanah Bahiyah. Hari ini juga hubby dijadualkan tiba from Ireland. So tgh hari tu dgn ditemani oleh my mum n my sis, kami ke airport untuk menjemput hubby yg tiba around 2.30pm gitu. lepas berdrama air mata sebabak dua,around 4pm kami pun terus ke  PAC (Patient Admission Centre).

Sementara menunggu giliran utk CTG scan suma2 tu, saya dan suami berbincang dgn admission nurse. nak minta private room, rupa2 nya tak de private room utk wad bersalin. ahhh sudahh.. takkan la saya nk stay 4 hari before delivery tu kat public room kot.. nope, saya tak kisah nk stay public room, yg saya kisahkan – suami saya.. kesian dia, dh la cutinya cuma 1 mgu, pastu x dpt stay dgn saya plak tuu..

terus saya carik dr Haliza. nk mintak tangguh admission. tapi dia sedang ber conference pulak. so, pesan kat nurse, bila dr Haliza habis conference, cepat2 inform dia saya nk jumpa.. sambil2 tunggu dr Haliza tu, saya buat ler ctg scan.. lamaa giler.. bila dh siap, dh pukul 5.30pm. terus tanya nurse, dr Haliza dh habis conference blom, dia ckp blom.. ok fineee.. then ade MO dtg nk check saye. saya ckp nk tunggu dr haliza jugak. so, dia pegi check, rupanya conference dh lama habis n dr haliza dh balik dh pun.. waaaa…hampeh ko nurse!!!

Doctor2 lain kat situ pun kesiankan saya, tapi diorang x dpt nk buat ape2 laa since bos dh suruh admit kan.. nak tak nak, terpaksa la saya stay.. huhuhu.. kesian hubby..

dah habis suma urusan admission n initial check up tu, saya pun disorong ke wad Kenanga 2A. masa tu dh pukul 8pm. dh kiss2 goodbye dan drama air mata lg 2-3 babak, suami pun terpaksa beredar. tinggallah saya sendirian utk pertama kalinya seumur hidup saya tido dlm wad..(with 2 other patient dlm bilik tu..)

sementara tu, hubby pulak check in hotel dekat town. nak balik kampung mcm susah la plak utk dia berulang alik ke hospital sebab kampung agak jauh..

9th August 2010

Malam tadi x tidur lena sgt sbb every 3 hrs nurse dtg utk check heartbeat baby.. pagi tu around 6 am doctor oncall dtg melawat. borak2 dgn dia n mentioned nk kuar. dia ckp kene mintak permission dari consultant laa.. so, tunggu lah consultant round pulak..

tetiba dlm pukul 8.30am gitu, dgr kecoh2 kat luar oh rupa2nya dr Haliza n her team datang melawat saye.. terus mentioned kat dia saya nk kuar sekejap.. semalam pun ok lah.. but then she comes with other news..

Dr Haliza ckp Dato’ Mohan (the paed surgeon) baru jer call. dia ada urgent family matters kat perak n tak dpt jumpa saya n hubby today and most importantly, he request to do the surgery on my baby sehari lebih awal (i.e. on the 12th) – which also mean that my c-sect date pun kene sehari awal la..

Tapi 11th Aug tu Public Holiday (Awal Ramadhan). dr haliza n dr bava cuti lah, and hanya ada oncall doctor jer.. dr bava akan dtg ler utk tgk2 saya, tapi he will not perform the surgery.. so, diorang suruh decide whether i still want them to deliver my baby on the 12th (and other dr to perform surgery on baby) or other doctor yg sambut my baby n Dato Mohan can perform his surgery.. tanpa berfikir panjang, of course i want Dato Mohan. after all  he is the best well known surgeon in northern. (dr bava pun the best OnG in northern gak.. but baby’s case is more urgent)

so decision is made. lepas borak2 dgn dr haliza tu, dia terus call dr bava inform my decision. pastu dia pun tanya if i can be discharged for a day. dr bava pun very understanding and allowed me to go.. dgn syarat i have to be back tomorrow before maghrib.. heheehe..

sebelum balik tu, me n hubby met with Mr Uma. Dato Mohan suruh dia jumpa kitorang n explain about the surgery since he cant be there himself. Terharu betul dgn kebaikan Dato Mohan.. busy2 dia pun sanggup balik sekejap just to perform our baby’s surgery.. Mr. Uma tanya la if we know him personally, and he quite surprise knowing that we havent even met. Actually dr Bava yg beriya2 recommend dato mohan nih.

tgh hari tu, saya pun angkut lah semula segala beg2 saya n check in hotel with hubby.. at last, dapat juga bersama hubby setelah lebih 2 bulan x bersua.. huhuhu.. that night kitorang kuar makan2 kat town.. yer la, lepas nih saya kan dh kene berpantang…

10th August 2010

aIMG_0631::Last day hidup ber dua – perutku yg sungguh maju kedepan::

seperti yg dijanjikan, ptg tu saya pun melaporkan diri ker PAC semula.. nurse2 tu suma hairan, apesal dtg balik?? hahahah..

dah settled urusan admission tu, saya pun dimasukkan semula ke ward, but this time wad kenanga 2C pulak.. malam tu, mmg dah dup dap dup dap dah.. warghh.. besok nk kene operate nih..

walaupun pada asalnya saya dikategorikan sebagai elective c-sect, tapi sebab tarikh dh ubah tu, maka saya di klasifikasikan sbg semi emergency (SE-LSCS) la pulak.. disebabkan itu,  masa utk operation dimulakan tidaklah diketahui.. haiyooo, lagi lah menggelabah saya. setiap kali doctor (HO) datang, saya mesti tanya, agak2 saya kene pukul baper doctor? hahaha.. mmg gelabah habis laa..

malam tu jugak nurse panggil utk shaving private part.. saya ckp saya tak mo.. saya dh buat sendiri la nurse.. tapi nurse tu ttp tak pedulik, dia kata, biar dia check dulu.. maka saya pun telah dinodai buat pertama kali nya.. hahaha.. kelakar btol.. (okeh malu sebenarnya), seb baik ler saya kene operate, kalau tak mesti kene seluk2 pulak.. haiyooo…

lepas adengan selak menyelak tu, HO datang.. dia ckp nk masukkan line (canula) kat tangan saya.. saya pun serahkan jer la tangan saya tu, sekali masa dia masukkan jarum tu, memancut2 darah keluar.. habis lantai n terpercik gak ke cadar.. menggelabah la dia.. boleh plak dia pause sekejap sbb tatau nk buat apa.. (biasa laaa, doctor baru kan..) seb baik teman sebilik saya cepat2 g amik tissue.. pastu dh lap2 tu,boleh pulak dia tutup cap tak rapat, tetiba jer darah saya mencurah2 keluar semula… hahahaha…(okeh, scary sebenarnya.. tapi kelakar sungguh tgk muka dia pucat lesi..).she knows my hubby pun doctor, sbb tu la dia takut tuu.. heheheh.. tapi mmg sampai pening2 la jugak saya sbb darah banyak keluar..

aIMG_0637 :: Pelapik cadar dh ditukar, tapi masih ade kesan darahnya.. huhuh::

oh, masa saya warded tu, saya jugak berkenalan dgn sorang medic student (Chinese) final year nih.. ape nama ntah, ahkak lupa la pulak.. dari first night lagi dia meng interview saya.. saya pun layan jer laa.. sbb ingat time hubby student dulu pun, katanya agak susah nk dpt patient yg nk cooperate.. memahami situasi tersebut, maka segala informasi lah saya bagitau dia.. sukalah beliau sbb my case pun agak rare.. siap di angkutnya kengkawan 2-3 org lagi.. tapi at least ade peneman.. sbb kejap2 dia dtg borak2.. siap bawak air lagi..  drpd hari first, sampai lah ke hari last saye dia spital, dia yg menemani.. (and i still cant get his name!!)

anyway, malam tu saya tak dapat nak tido nyenyak.. gelisah, resah, takut, excitement, suma ada.. tak habis2 saya berdoa semoga semuanya berjalan lancar.. roomate saya bertukar ganti dlm masa hanya beberapa jam tu.. semua sibuk kira contraction or brp cm dah ‘buka’ saya plak masih relax.. mmg tak sakit ape langsung pun.. cuma perasaan jer yg tertekan… my life will completely change tomorrow…

aIMG_0636a

(to be continued…)

Monday, October 11, 2010

2 Months Old Today

aDSC03635

wow, pejam celik pejam celik, dah 2 bulan putera kesayangan hamba nih.. still rasa mcm dlm mimpi (mimpi indah dan mimpi sedih). mcm baru semalam jer excited tgk +’ve line kat pregnancy test tu.. –> which also remind me, I should write down the birth story sblm saya terlupa.. aiyaa..

harini  (11/10/10) Z^chary got his 2nd hep B jab at KMC. nasib baik dia melalak (more kind of menjerit) sekejapan aje.. good boy betul.. tapi peha dia mcm membengkak skit.. i read somewhere yg better letak vicks dekat tempat dia kene injection tu, which i already did. then dah kasik ubat demam pun.. hopefully dia x demam laa..

anyway, his progress so far;

  • weight = 3.7kg.. ok, mmg weight dia tak naik banyak.. other babies his age already weighting 5-6 kg dah.. but doctor kata its ok since he is premature plus his weight turun banyak after surgery dulu tuu.. furthermore, he is healthy n active, so nothing to worry.. (oh, dan maknye pun kocik ajee.. its in our gene honey..)
  • height = 57cm.. ni mmg naik banyak compared to birth (44cm jer). mmg dia nampak panjang pun for his size.. bagus, biar tinggi mcm papa yerr
  • his development:
    • dah pandai senyum2 and akan pandang muka kite sambil tersenyum kalau kite bercakap dgn dia.
    • love bright colours! dah pandai staring at his mobile / play gym. kalau letak kat playmat dia tu, mesti terpusing2 sana sini tgk mende2 bergayutan tu.. especially yellow.
    • started to cooing.. kalau kite ckp2 dgn dia, mesti mulut terkumat kamit.. tapi suara tu kadang2 jer la kuar..aahh.. eehh, oohh.. lebihnya muncung2  jer.. kalau kat playmat dia tu, kadang2 dengar jugak dia berborak dgn toys dia tuu..
    • listening to music.. slalu i pasangkan nursery song from my iphone.. mesti dia excited.. then slalu i nyanyi2 kan skali sambil gerak2 kan badan dia.. mmg tersengih2 jer laa.
    • sometimes dia akan menoleh kalau kiter panggil or when he hear noise dekat2 dia..
    • still can not hold his head steady.. kalau tiarapkan pun he still struggle utk shift from side to side.. boleh tu boleh la.. tapi mmg gigil2 jer..
    • tangan dia boleh grasp dgn kuat.. pastu dh pandai tolak botol susu kalau dia x suka.. then sibuk nk pegang botol.. mcm ler kuat sgt.. oh, selalu tampar2 mummy, n my necklace slalu jadik mangsa tarikan
    • masih lagi tido 3-4 hrs.. n at night kalau feed him around 12 tgh mlm gitu, he will only gets up at 6-7 am esoknya.. tapi kalau dia terjaga around 3-4 am tu, mmg tersengguk2 ler nk tunggu dia tido balik.. siap diajaknya berborak sampai 2-3 jam kadang2 tu.. huhuhu..
    • poop 5 times a day! aduss, patut ler tak naik berat badan.. makan jer, terus buang… but his stool adelah normal (soft n yellowish), so paed ckp its normal then..
    • dah start banyak menangis! masa dlm pantang tu, susah btol nk dgr dia menangis. lepas jer pantang, uish, bangun tido jer terus menjerit. bukan nk ek..ekk dulu.. terus masuk gear 5 org kata.. then everytime change his nappy pun melalak2.. adoii, memula ingatkan sbb sakit ade rashes ke.. tapi bila rashes dh baik pun still terjerit2.. haihh kenapa lah kamu ini nak…
    • clingy – asik nk duduk atas ribaa jerr.. kalau nk tido tu, mmg kene riba dulu laa.. kadang2 tu 2-3 kali angkat letak, tak juga tido2.. mmg sakit pinggang mama nih nak oiii…seb baik ler mak kamu ni cuti lama lagi.. ish ish..

Hmm..itu jer kot yg teringat so far.. he might be a bit behind compared to other babies (especially his size), but its ok.. mama so proud of you baby. biarlah org sibuk compare awak dgn anak jiran sebelah yg sebulan lebih tua tuuu.. yes he is bigger than you, yes he is stronger than you, but in term of other development progress, sama ajee despite the fact that he is older! pffftt!

(okeh, mama mmg tak puas hati dgn cakap2 mereka, but that doesnt mean that im not happy with your progress.. U already ahead consider that you are premie!)

p/s: ketika entry ini ditulis, anakanda kesayangan tgh wide awake.. nampak gaya sampai kol 3 pagi ler cenggini.. mama ngantukk sgt dah ni shayammm huhuhu

Monday, October 4, 2010

Chromosome Study

27th Sept lepas we had appointment for chromosome study (for Down Syndrome). Diorang amik sample darah Z^chary utk di hantar ke Lab.
Kesian anak mama, meraung2 masa kene ambik darah tu.. bukan aje anak, maknya pun meleleh2 air mata jugak dengar anak meraung.. huhuhu.. Z^chary ni bukan la jenis yg suka melalak.. dia nangis pun bila bangun tido kalau dah lapar sgt jer.. lebihnya setakat merengek2 skit2 tu ada la.. so, bila dia dh meraung2 tu, mmg sakit sgt la tu kot.. mamanya try jugak nk be strong, alaa, stakat ambik darah jer tu.. tapi lepas dgr dia meraung2 tu, aduss..berderai2 air mate… huhuhu… siannn anak mama nih..
aIMG_0790 :: Mamaaa.. tangan sayee sakit ni.. huhuhu.. ::
Back to the study, the result will only be in after 2 months.. tak sabar rasanya kami menunggu. sekarang everything is so blurry.. reason is because we got different opinion from different peads. even paed2 yg dekat HSB tu pun bercanggah pendapat. some of them sgt confident Z^chary has DS, tapi ade gak a few yg ckp no.. last 2 weeks i went to get another opinion from pead specialist at KMC, dia pun ckp NO. he thinks Z^chary is too active for DS. plus from his examination, mmg the signs are not so clear. kalau ada pun the extra chromosome, it should be very mild..
ntah la.. sbb tu i really looking forward for the result. not that it will change anything on my feeling toward him, i just want confirmation so we can plan for his future. lagipun i havent mentioned it to anybody except my immediate family (n beberapa kerat blog readers). bukan nk rahsiakan, tapi tatau nk ckp mcm mana sbb kitorang pun blom confirm lg.. *sigh*
of course i always pray that he will be ‘normal’ (what ever the definition is) but at the same time, i want to be prepared.
Z^chary Aiman adalah amanah Allah kepada kami. Kami akan tetap menyayangi dia biar apa pun keadaannya. Dia sangat sempurna di mata kami. InsyaAllah, kami akan berusaha memberikan yang terbaik kepadanya.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Susu Oh Susu

mase time pregnant dulu, azam saye adelah utk fully brestfeed my baby. so, banyak jugak ler website2 yg saya terjah utk carik info2 berguna. Equipment2 from pump to ebm storage pun suma dah prepared. Akan tetapi cita2 saya tu masih belum tercapai nampaknya.. huhuh..

Z^chary being introduced to milk mase umo dia seminggu kat NICU, itu pun through tube la.. so, started from day 5 tu, saya dh start pump. mase tu mmg sikit sgt ler.. nk dpt 0.5 oz pun susah.. tapi nasib baik memula tu they only gave him 15ml (0.5oz) jer per feeding. kire ok la lagi.. lepastu diorang gradually increase bit by bit. from 30ml to 40ml then 60ml n finally 80ml. mmg tak cukup ler ebm saye.. adoii tensi amat..

cukup seminggu tu, my milk production still x bertambah, then panggil mak bidan utk urut susu.. alhamdulillah, meningkat skit.. boleh la skali perah tu dlm 1 oz.. tapi still kene tambah formula jugak ler..

on day 10 camtu, doctor bagitau saya dh boleh try direct breastfeed Z^ch. so saya pun rooming-in ler kat wad sebelah NICU tu and every 3 hrs pegi kasik Z^ch bf. first day tu dia mcm x reti sgt nk latch. sbb dah lama sangat dia minum ikut tube, sedar2 dh kenyang jer, so dia mmg mcm dh lupa camner nk menyusu nih.. then alhamdulillah, masuk hari ke 2 dan seterusnya, dia mcm dh semakin pandai.. tapi still top up formula milk laa..

bila dia dh discharged tu, saya try to fully bf him. 3-4 hari jugak la dpt full bf, tapi lepastu masa nurse dtg melawat, berat z^ch dh turun mendadak.. aduss, nampak sgt susu x cukup. nak tak nak, kene la jugak saya tambah formula sbb gaining weight is quite crucial for baby with DS nih.

memula saya cuma kasik formula milk twice per day jer.. tapi berat dia still turun jugak, last2 siang mmg kasik formula milk, malam jer kasik bf. masa nih mmg saya pump jer laa.. sekali pump dpt dlm 1.5-2 oz gitu. so, every feeding saya akan combine 2 session utk cukupkan 3oz.

lama kelamaan, susu badan dh bertambah kurang.. yer la, sbb saya pun x direct feeding kan.. drpd 2oz, dh kurang ke 1oz n now nak dptkan 0.5oz pun susah.. waaaaa.. sedih btol laa.. i really want to fully bf him. sekarang mmg nk pump pun dh malas sbb mmg skit sgt.. saya cuma bagi direct feeding every time before he asleep jer..  tatau la banyak mana jer yg dia dpt..tsk.tsk

but im not over yet. saya dh ambik supplement yg homeopathy tu before this. mcm tak berkesan jer..pastu last week suruh mak bidan urutkan lg skali.. lepas urut tu, banyak ler susunya,, pastu malam tu, sikit balik jadinya.. haiyooo… n harini supplement yg saya beli from enjoy breastfeeding tu dh sampai.. hmm..tgk ler mcm mana. hopefully berkesan laa.. aim saya utk continue bf jer.. tak dpt full pun tak per laa, saya pasrah huhuhu

MMSB60Caps

Ya Allah, bantulah hambamu ini dlm memberikan yg terbaik utk anakku.. aminn..

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Day 44

 

Pejam celik pejam celik dah 44 hari dah saye bersalin..dah habis pantang nih, yey! ok, actually habis pantang masa 40 hari lagi, sbb dapat baby boy, kalau baby girl baru 44 hari.. (kata mereka laa) anyway, nama jer la habis pantang, mcm tak der beza sangat pun rasanyaa..Pertamanya, sebab pantang saya nih cuma melibatkan makanan n jalan2 jer.. tak der la param pilis suma tu.. keduanya pulak, walopon dilarang makan itu ini, kalau saya kata saya nk makan, maka saya makan laa.. fedulik! heheh.. bab2 larangan berjalan pun saya tak dapatlah penuhi. dah anak saya tu sakit, first 2 weeks mmg hari2 ulang alik ke spital pun.. dah kuar spital, kene plak follow up.. so, dgn lain perkataan, pantang saya mmg ke laut lah.. hehehe

Anyway, utk meraikan berakhirnya pantang saya yg tak seberapa nih, smlm masa pegi KMC utk check up Z^chary tu, singgah KFC jap..fuuhhh, legaa dpt makan KFC.Masa pregnant dulu, mmg tak leh makan ayam.. sbb GELIII terbayangkan ayam yg isinya putih2 tu..bau pun tak bleh.. (sekarang, boleh pulak?) hehehe..

aIMG_0786 ::Z^ch yg tertidur sambil tunggu mama melantak::

masa dlm pantang tu, sepatutnya saya hanya boleh makan ikan.. menu hari2 saya hanyalah ikan haruan kering, or sup haruan, or haruan bakar.. kadang2 jer dpt makan ikan perisa lain or daging bakar.. lepas 2-3 mgu naik hangin ler saya.. tension beb asik makan mende tuu ajee.. waaa.. then saya pun curik2 la makan mende2 lain.. hahahah

Harini jugak first time berurut nih.. urut sikit2 jer laa pagi tadi.. since kene caesarean nih, diorang kata tak bleh berurut lg.. stakat urut kaki tangan tu boleh laa.. mengikut mak bidan, batu ketuban saye dh terletak elok.. apekah itu batu ketuban??? uterus ke ar? nurse yg dtg pun asik mention pasal batu ketuban nih..hmm,pelek btol saye.. tak per laa.. as long as normal tu,kire ok laa..

owh, berat saye pun dh kembali normal.. 42kg.. dari hari yg ke 30 haritu lagi static jer kat takuk 42kg tu.. tapi rasanya dh lepas pantang nih boleh naik skit kot.. target 45kg laa.. baru berat ideal.. sayang btol sbb tak measure berat lepas bersalin haritu.. brp lah agaknya berat amniotic fluid saye..

perut masih menggelebeh huhuhu.. mak bidan kata mmg lambat skit nk kecut balik..tambahan plak tak boleh bertungku berurut nih, lagi la makan masa.. tapi dia kata kulit perut saya dah menipis elok jer, so tak perlu risau la.. huhuu, tapi saya masih risau laa.. dah la saya nih kecik, tetiba jer perut membuncit.. uwaaaa..!!

bengkung-4panel-n-sireh ::Bengkung Modern for caesarean::

memula dulu lepas mandi air daun2 tu, saye ade gak pakai kapur limau.. rasanya berkesan jugak, cuma kulit cam gatal2.. so, skrg mmg dh tak pakai laaa..then saya ada beli bengkung moden  strap on yg kunun2 amat berguna utk org2 yg bersalin c-sect nih.. pakai dgn cream sireh.. adoiiii, panas n pedih giler.. terus cam malas nk pakai dah.. kadang rajin jer laa saya pakai..skrg nih asik sapu minyak halia panas tu jer..  bercadang mau beli premium beautiful la pulak.. tapi perlukah? saye nih mmg dah kurus kerempeng nih.. pastu lak tak rajin pun.. kang beli, jadik cam bengkung modern tu jerr.. bayar memahal, tapi terlipat elok kat tepi katil nih.. lg satu, size dia walopon xs, still mcm besar  jer measurement utk saya.. tapi saya mau perut kempisss.. hmm, sape2 agent tolong kasik penerangan skit..

so, itu ajelah regime berpantang saya.. kalau saya tahu cam gini rupanya berpantang, tak perlulah saya balik berpantang di kampung lagi next time.. (wah, dah ada next time la pulakkk hikhikhik…)

Saturday, September 18, 2010

First time raya for Zachary_Aiman


:: Mama n Z^chary di pagi raya yg hening ::

 

Disambut tanpa papa disisi.. huhuhu.. sedey sangat.. nasib baik la kat kampong, at least ramai pakcik makcik n sepupu sepapat memeriahkan suasana. Kesian papa, dah la beraya sorang2 diperantauan, oncall di malam raya plak tu.. tsk.tsk.. insyaAllah, raya haji nanti mama n Z^ch balik yer..


 

Preparation for raya, mmg tak de prepare apa2 la sbb mama masih dlm pantang. Tapi dgn penuh kegigihan, mama dh bergegas ke shopping kompleks utk carik baju raya. Malangnya size2 kat Malaysia nih suma besar2. Newborn pun sama size dgn 3-6 months.. nasib baik la mama ada bwk balik few newborn size from Dublin.


 

Suasana raya mmg meriah la.. Z^ch blom boleh jalan raya lg, tapi ramai sedare mara n jiran tetangga yg dtg melawat. Duit raya pun banyaakkk J


 

As for Z^chary, he spent the whole morning dengan tidurrrr.. hehehe.. org dtg riuh rendah, di bantainya tidoo.. (my house sebelah surau, so bila org dh habis solat raya tu, mmg diorang akan singgah rumah dulu laa.. mcm ala2 kenduri jadinya, but at least pagi raya jer la yg busy sbb org kampong suma dh dtg beraya..). Siap org berebut2 nk dukung dia pun, dia still tak sedar.. dh tgh hari bila org ramai dh balik, baru lah Z^ch bukak mata.. hmm, org dah habis raya la nak ooiii...


 

As for mama, raya juga bermaksud RAYA! So no more pantang2.. mama balun jer apa yg ada, sambil2 pekakkan telinga.. :P dh 6 thn mama beraya diperantauan, mmg tak kan lepaskan peluang ini.. hehehe..


 

Owh, 1 Syawal juga genaplah umur Zach^ary 1 bulan. Happy 1 month young sayanggg J

(1 Syawal jugak supposed to be his actual due date)


 

Few more photos di pagi raya..



:: Raja tidurr ::



:: salam-salaman di hari raya ::


:: org dah habis beraya, baru dia terjaga ::


:: si botak kesayangan mama ::

Friday, September 17, 2010

Aidilfitri 2010

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri maaf zahir n batin to all blog readers..

Dah sebulan dh blog tak ber update. Life as a new mom has been quite hectic n internet connection kat bilik adelah sungguh lembabss.



Anyway, Alhamdulillah baby Zachary_Aiman dah beransur pulih from the surgery and was discharged from NICU since day 15 lagi. But we still have to follow up weekly with the paeds n surgeons. InsyaAllah nanti i will update more on our experience in hospital n during pantang.

Monday, August 16, 2010

air mata kami berguguran lagi....


Last moment with papa.. we miss you papa!


Day 4

Seperti biasa, petang itu saya dan suami ke hospital utk melawat little one. It was also the last day for hubby to be with baby before he flew back to Ireland. He has make appointment with the doctor to get baby's latest progress.

Just when we are so excited to see our baby open his eyes for the first time, the doctor came by and bring our worst nightmare news.. They think our little fighter has Down's Syndrome and will have to do further test to confirm that.

Ya Allah, sungguh berat dugaan ini... menggigil2 seluruh badan saya dan suami. Eventhough we are aware of the risk him having DS (1/3 of baby with Duodenal Atresia will also have Down Syndrome), but as a parent we always stay positive and keep on praying that our little fella will turn out to be ok..

Di saat ini, saya sangat lemah.. hubby just reluctantly flew back to Ireland, leaving me all alone in this empty hotel room. sudah tak mampu lagi rasanya saya menangis.. Terlalu banyak air mata ini tumpah semenjak first trimester lagi.. now i feel so hopeless.. setiap nafas saya hanya teringatkan my baby.. dgn keadaannya yg masih belum stabil from the surgery.. will he be ok? What will happen next? what if..? Ya Allah... kuatkanlah semngatku ini..

But I know... I have to be strong for my baby. It will be a long journey ahead of us. InsyaAllah, saya yakin.. we can get through this and be as happy as any other family.

Ya Allah, kuatkanlah semangatku demi anak kesayangan kami.. It still not confirmed yet and i want to think positive.. until then, i will keep praying and hoping that everything will turn out to be ok..

Sayang mama.. Kejap lagi mama datang yer.. mama n papa will always love you no matter what the result of the test will be. We will try to provide the best for you and will make you happy. Just promise to be strong n get well soon yer sayang.. Mama dah tak sabar nak bawak sayang balik.. nanti kite boleh balik ke Ireland and be with papa yer.. mama love you soo much dear.. muahhss!!

Mama
Sunday, 15th August 2010

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Alhamdulillah..

Alhamdulillah.. Syukur ke hadrat Ilahi..

i have safely delivered my baby boy via c-sect on Wednesday 11/08/2010 at 10.10am. My little fighter also has successfully undergone a 4 hr surgery on Thursday 12/08/2010 and currently in NICU.
Please pray for his speedy recovery.

more stories to follow..

Sunday, August 8, 2010

1st night warded

waaaa... sedey.. sob..sob..

hubby arrived from ireland (after 2 mnths apart) around 3 pm, and now at 9.30 pm saya sendirian di dalam ward n hubby kat luar ward.. sadisssss

mmg dah tahu harini bakal kena admitted, tapi ingatkan boleh ambik private room where hubby can tag along. skali rupanya wad bersalin kat HSB ni takde private/1st class. suma yg standard room jer..

so, dpt tau mcm tu, terus la mintak kat doctor2 kat labour room tu supaya dpt postpone admission.. memandangkan i pun bukan ler sakit/turun tanda apa2 lagi.. plus c-sect nyer date lambat pun lagi.. tapi doctor2 nih suma tak berani nk release sbb bos diorang dh suruh admit kan.. dr. bava n dr. haaliza both away plak tu.. nak tak nak kena la saya bermalam disini sensorang

paling menyedihkan, hubby have to stay at nearby hotel. sekarang nih dia still melilau2 kat luar ward nih sbb malas nk balik hotel lagi katanya... huhuhu... sgt sedihh.. x sempat pun nk berborak lama tadi..

miss him soo much.. besok dr. haliza dtg, nk mintak jugak2 supaya dia dpt release at least for 1 night pun jadik la.. huhuhu..

-Kenanga 2A-

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Baby’s (& Mommy’s) Stuff – Final Preparation

Last day sebelum kena serah diri ke hospital..

Baru lepas packing2 hospital bags for baby n mummy. Rasanya most of checklist items dh prepared. Cuma sedikit terkilan sbb barang2 shipping from Dublin blom sampai lagi.. As per shipping co. my box expected to arrive end of august (kapal delayed 2 weeks plak tu.. pfffttt!!!). My original due date was after raya, so ingatkan sempat ler masa shipping barang haritu.. since dh jadi mcm nih, ade jugak ler barang yg kene beli twice.. nasib baik ler mmg dh plan from the beginning nk beli most of items kat sini pun.. kalau tak, lagi ler haruu.. haih, dugaannn....

Some of items yg masih di tengah lautan..


Anyway, harini dh received cooler bag set from Mom’s Little One. Nanti senang nk transport EBM masa baby kat NICU.


i asked hubby to buy a manual tommee tippee pump mcm kat bawah ni utk dipakai sementara nk tunggu medela swing yg di shipping tuu.. tatau ler ok ker tak.. one more thing, i might need to buy that ‘special feeding bottle’ (Medela Haberman Feeder) for baby, tapi tu tunggu la tgk how his condition will be. Nak bf ni pun i still tak sure bila boleh start since for first few days tu baby mmg tak boleh minum pun.. pastu kene minum through tube plak.. hmmm... Semoga cita2 saya utk BF my baby terlaksana.. aminn..


Baju2 baby pun i tak beli banyak sangat.. beli yg size besar skit sbb dh banyak beli yg kecik2 from Dublin. So, sorry la baby yer kalau awak kena pakai baju gelobos skit sementara nk tunggu kotak shipping tu... huhuh..
Owh, baby’s equipment mcm stroller, rocker suma tu i blom beli.. nanti bila baby dh kuar hospital baru mummy belikan ok..

Baby punya hospital beg dh 100% ready. Tapi rasanya barang2 tu hanya cukup for first few days jer laa.. mummy kena bawak more pampers n bajus nanti.. eh, baby kat NICU pakai baju ker ar? Nape tgk slalu mcm pakai pampers aje.. hmm.. tgk ler camner nanti.

Mummy punya hospital beg tak ready lg.. since nk kena berkurung about 1 week kat spital tu, banyak jugak stuffs i have to bring. Last minuets items kena masukkan besok;
- Laptop + charger
- Phones + chargers
- Minyak selusuh
- Buku merah
- Beli few magazines

Ape lagi ek.. risau gak kalau tertinggal important items. Rumah agak jauh from hospital.. susah nk suruh org bawakkan plak nanti..

Ahhh.. 5 more days until i meet my baby.. And hubby will arrive tomorrow!
Penantianku akan berakhir.. Ya Allah.. permudahkan lah urusan kami... aminn..

Thursday, August 5, 2010

35 weeks update

exactly 1 week to goooo.. *dup dap dup dap*

smlm appointment dgn doctor kat KK. sakit hati jer sbnrnya.. sbb, masuk jer bilik doctor tu, bukan dia buat apa2 pun.. pegang perut pun tak.. stakat nk amik notes ape yg dr. bava tulis jer.. hampeh btol.. dekat 2 jam tau org tunggu! pffftt!!! kalau stakat nk amik nota, biar saya tuliskan pun tak per doctor oiii.. (nih doctor baru nih.. dr Jaya dh naik pangkat n di transfer ke klinik lain plak.. doctor baru ni mmg nampak sgt tak reti buat keje..)

anyway, sblm jumpa doctor tu, still buat check up mcm biasa dgn nurse2 kat situ.. seb baik mmg dh kenal dgn diorang, so tak de la kene tunggu lama for that.. berat mummy naik la dlm 600g.. pastu blood pressure still normal, baby's heart beat pun still normal.. cuma darah jer kurang skit.. pastu lab tech tu dh siap nk amik blood sample lagi n bebel2 pasal tak makan iron.. alaa pak cik.. saya nih mmg penyakit anemic. stakat hemoglobin reading 9.8 tu normal utk saya.. pastu dia ckp tak per tunggu ape kata doctor.. hahahha.. silap laa.. doctor tu tak check langsung pun.. so, slamat lah saye dr kene another blood test n makan vit iron tu.. (tak suke mkn iron sbb nanti constipated)

owh, perut saye sangat tegang n cekang! kalau nk bangun or berjalan tu, ya Allah.. mmg rasa mcm nk tersungkur ke depan jer.. pastu kat area belly button tu mmg rasa mcm nipis sgt.. pastu mcm pedih2 mcm luka gitu.. tapi x de plak luka.. mmg normal ker ar?

braxton hicks pun bertambah intense rasanya.. kadang2 sampai meleleh2 air mate.. tapi still dtg n pergi sesuka hati dia laa.. tiap kali bangun berdiri or berjalan, mesti perut mengeras. time sembahyang pun mmg terseksa.. tambah2 bila nk rukuk n sujud tuu.. time tu la tetiba jer perut menegang.. mmg nangis2.. (okeh, mummy mmg cembeng..). rasanya lg 2-3 hari dh kena start sembahyang duduk dah laa.. (kene blajar dulu nih.. tak penah buat lagi..)

my belly is soo huge! sekarang dh measured at 43 weeks. beratt sangatt..! ramai kengkawan suruh ambik gambar.. eh, sorry, nk tgk diri sendiri kat cermin pun rasa takut.. btw sbg perumpamaan, i do look like this.. tsk..tsk..


okeh, image googled,
(gilos ape nk letak gambar perut sendiri cam gini..)
but bukan nak exaggerate.. even stretch mark pun mcm lebih kurang jer.. waaaaa... dh berbotol bio oil saya pakai, mmg kalau dh mcm gini kebesaran perut, tak dpt ler nk nolong lagi.. sob..sob.. kalau kuar tu, suma org mesti pandang2 jer.. tension btol la.. pastu suma mesti nk beramah mesra n tanya2 itu ini.. malas la nk layan.. kalau yg tak kenal tu, ckp jer la twin..
seb baik ler badan tak naik.. my belly jenis membesar ke depan aje.. alhamdulillah, tepi2 tak naik.. hopefully nanti tak payah ler nk risau bab2 berat badan nih..

masalah tido, still mcm biasa.. pinggang teramat sakitt.. mmg slalu jugak tetiba jer mcm breathless gitu.. cuma smlm jer dpt tido lama skit.. mcm heaven sangat bila sedar2 jer dh pukul 5 pagi.. mmg tido yg cukup :)

baby movement.. ni yg agak payah ni.. ada hari2nya, baby mmg active. pukul 12 camtu dh cukup bilangan kicks. tapi ade harinya, sampai kol 6-7 ptg pun tak cukup2.. risau btol.. baby ni pantang skit kalau org pegang kepala dia.. so, kalau dh agak dia tak gerak tu, mummy kacau2 skit bahagian kepala dia tu, then mesti dia respond back.. hehehe.. mesti marah sbb kacau dia tido.. sorry ler sayang.. mummy just want to make sure that u r ok..

apa2 pun, its 1 more week to go. saya perlu kuat.. hopefully semuanya selamat sampai harinya nanti.. lg 3 days dh kene admit kat spital, atleast kalau dh masuk hospital tu, tak de la saya risau sgt.

Ya Allah... permudahkanlah perjalananku ini.. amin...

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Scan 3d/4d: Edisi Video la pulakk..

ni sebenarnya video last 2 weeks. masa tu dr. Bava terlebih rajin n save kan video for me.. kononnya dia nk transfer ke cd, skali cd x de.. so, he asked me to bring my own thumb drive jer laa this time..

ade few videos n angle yg dia ambik, but i just try to upload these 2 dah ler..



video nih nampak jelas skit muka baby.. uish, sungguh active! pastu siap jelir2 lidah kat mummy yer.. hehehe.. cute.. tapi apesal this time nampak hidung baby cam daddy plak yer? gambar scan haritu, suma org ckp hidung baby ikut mummy.. hehehe.. tak per la, hidung mcm daddy pun hencem jugakkk..






This one for the first time dapat tgk baby's hair..
aiyooo soo curly! ni mesti ikut auntie2 on both side nih hehehe.. mummy n daddy rambut lurus abis.. but mmg other siblings have curly hair..
1 more thing, at 0.08 hrs, baby bukak skit matanya.. hehehe...gerammmnyaaaa tengok.. mummy soo tak sabar nk hold you in my arm.. muahss!!


aahh.. sesungguhnya video2 n photo2 baby nih does gave me strength to go through these last few days.. 9 more days to go...

Sunday, August 1, 2010

3rd appointment with Dr Bava - HSB

today i met with dr. bava lagi.. just normal check up. Dr. haliza (training specialist) pun ade..

so, we just confirmed the date as before;
08/08/10 - Admission (harap2 i could stay in private single room rather than normal ward so hubby can tag along)
09/08/10 - Appointment with Mr. Mohan - Paed Surgeon (the only specialist in northern region) with hubby n Dr. Haliza (dr. bava wont be around on the 9th n 10th)
12/08/10 - booked for C-section huhuhu.. (will meet my baby!! yeay!!)

Dr. Bava tanya lagi if im interested to do the amniotic reduction procedure tu since keaadaan saye yg bertambah sarat nih.. again, rasanya i could wait for 1 more week.. i dont want to risk the baby.. demi baby, InsyaAllah i will try to be strong.. Ya Allah, permudahkanlah perjalananku ini.. aminnn..

then mcm biasa, they perform the full scan on the baby. baby growth is normal. baby dh weighted 2.7kg. uish, boleh tahan jugak utk premie ni.. kalau nk tunggu full term, mmg bengkok ler mummy sbb bulan2 terakhir slalu mmg berat baby akan naik mendadak..hehehhe

btw the double bubble sign is still there.. they think its a definite duodenal atresia based on the shape/location of the bubble. tapi dr. heliza kata nampak mcm ade connection jugak between the 2 bubbles, so there is still hope that its not the complete obstruction InsyaAllah..

oh, this time i bring my thumb drive so dapat ler copied some 4d scan videos from Dr Bava computer.. will try to upload it soon..

Thursday, July 29, 2010

34th weeks update

Harini dah masuk 34 mgu.. fuh, exactly 2 more weeks to go.. mampukah??

perut sgt keras dan tegang.. braxton hicks bertambah sakit.. harapnyalah its only BH.. sbb rasnyaa cramping & tightening sensations i've been feeling for the past few days tu blom actual contraction yet.. tiap kali rasa, mesti tgk jam.. kot2 la ada rentak ke apa kan.. but so far, mmg sesuka hati dia aje nk dtg.. tapi mmg frequent laa..

sakit belakang? huhhuhu.. mmg tiap kali nk ubah posisi kalau duduk or baring tu, akan rasa mcm nk tercabut jer pinggang nih.. stay in 1 position pun kejap2 aje.. then kene ubah, sandar ke apa ker.. then kene baring plak..

berdiri pun mcm gigil2 jer peha n lutut.. seriously, dgn my belly yg dh measured at 42 week nih, mmg berat gilos laa.. smlm punya check up, berat naik lg sekilo in 1 week. tapi mmg kompem berat air jer lebih, because berat mummy still steady jer (tulang rangka masih timbul nih).. maybe berat baby pun bertambah la skit kot.. tapi perut mmg terasa sgt beratnya..

tido malam is the worst part. kalau boleh mcm tak mo tido jer.. slalunya dpt tido dlm 2 hrs gitu jer. then mesti dh xleh tido. pusing kanan salah, pusing kiri salah.. dah la tiap kali nk pusing tu, rase mcm breathless giler.. last2 bangun aje.. duduk berteleku di ujung katil sambil main game kat phone..sampai la dh mengantukk sangat nanti, baru tido balik.. kadang2 tu terjaga dr pukul 1.30 mcm tu, then sedar2 dah pukul 5 pun masih x bleh tido.. kalau hubby x oncall malam, slalunya dia la yg layan (through phone) kalau dia oncall or sometime overtime ker, kelip2 jer la sorang2.. huhuh

baby movement plak, semakin sukar nk dirasa.bukan sebab baby dh besar n tk leh gerak mcm other normal pregnancy, tapi sebab air terlalu banyak, so ruangan antara baby n uterus wall tu jauh sgt. baby berenang2 pun, mummy tak leh rasa.. kick n punching pun dh kurang rasa.. kalau baring baru boleh rasa. risau jugak sbnrnya.. baby nih gerak ke tak.. dh report dekat doctor, dia kata mmg mcm tu lah conditon akhir2 nih.. haih, kalau lah i bawak balik my own doppler, tak de la nk risau2 mcm nih. nyesal btol sbb shipping doppler tu haritu.. the shipping box expected to arrive middle of august camtu.. dh takde maknanyaa lagi.. huhuhu.. apa nk buat, kita hanya mampu merancang..

other than that, rasanya everything is normal. my hb is good (100/60), urine test is perfect, blood test pun okeh aje.. oh, baby heartbeat pun ok.. around 140 per minutes.

hmm..itu jer la kot complaint saya so far.. apa2 pun, saya bersyukur kerana diberi peluang utk menikmati pengalaman ini.. bak kata jiran2 saya, macam tu la peritnya nak mengandung dan melahirkan seorang zuriat..

ps: to my baby, i know u r worth every pain and tears. mummy harap baby pun keep on fighting. mummy cant wait to meet u soon..

Monday, July 26, 2010

Duodenal Atresia

Seperti yg dh di khabarkan before, my baby was diagnosed with Duodenal Atresia (DA).
actually, masa dr kamal mentioned about this condition, i hv no clue at all pun.. bila tanya dia, dia ckp that basically baby ada masalah with his usus kecik. Ususnya not fully performed and either fully closed/sempit menyebabkan kesukaran utk baby memprocess makanan/minuman.

DA is a rare condition and only happens in 1:10,000 birth, and can also be associated with other conditions such as heart problem, lung, pancreases and chromosome abnormalities (about 30% of child diagnosed with DA also have Down’s Syndrome)


Image googled


What happen before baby’s birth?

Mmg slalu jugak DA associated with Polyhydramnios (excessive of amniotic fluid in mummy’s womb). Air ketuban yg banyak terhasil disebabkan oleh keadaan baby yg tak dapat memproses liquid surrounding. Baby normally akan minum the fluid and then kuarkan balik as his urine. Dgn cara tersebut, dia dpt mengawal quantity air dlm perut maknya.. tapi disebabkan my baby tak dpt memproses liquid tersebut, amniotic fluid dlm uterus saya pun keep on increasing.
Disebabkan pressure from amniotic fluid surrounding him (and also his inability utk process food) baby with DA ni slalunya kurang skit la growth berbanding normal baby. (so far Alhamdulillah, my baby’s growth rate masih normal..)
Also, kalau tgk menerusi scan, perut baby akan Nampak dilated sedikit. Tapi at this stage doctor belum dapat memastikan how severe the problem is until the baby is born.

After Delivery
As soon as the baby is born, slalunya they will look normal – until they are being feed. Slalunya baby with DA akan terus muntah2 (hijau) within few hrs of their life.
As for my baby’s case, since we already detected his condition earlier, as soon as he is born, dia akan terus di ambik alih oleh neonatal team so they can perform full check up and x-ray so they’ll know exactly how severe the problem is and if there are any other problems beside DA.
Then they will decide on the surgery utk betulkan apa2 yg tak betul tu.. slalunya surgery will be performed within 3 days of the baby’s life.. and until then, my baby hanya boleh feeding through IV sahaja (even until few weeks after surgery)


The Surgery

Buat masa sekarang kite masih blom tahu the plan for surgery, but if the condition is not severe normally it will only take about 90 minutes. We will get a more detailed plan for surgery as soon as the baby is born.

After surgery
Slalunya within 2 weeks after surgery, baby will still be in NICU and will be feed through IV. Kalau condition bertambah baik, they will gradually introduced milk (still melalui IV) and see if the baby could accept any fluids and most importantly nak tgk if the baby dapat poop or pee. Kalau everything ok, barulah baby boleh minum through direct feeding (bottle / breast). Slalunya kalau condition not worsening, thats the only surgery he will ever need, tapi it is normal to have follow up surgery which will depend on how successful the first one is.

Wallahuaklam..

Semoga my baby dilindungiNya.. amin..

p/s: baby, mummy will always pray for you. Whatever the future will bring, mummy will always luv you and will be by your side.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

2nd Appointment with Dr. Bava (21/07/10)

seawal pukul 9 pagi lg saya dh tercongok kat HSB tu.. ingatkan dh awal, rupanya saya dh giliran ke 4. mind you, dr bava nih setiap sorang yg dia jumpa took about an hr!. so, saya cuma dpt jumpa dia around 12.45 camtu.. adoiii.. kebas bontot! according to nurses kat situ, mmg all serious cases kat penang, kedah n perlis nih akan di refer ke dr. bava, that's why susah bebenor nk jumpa dia.. huhuhu

anyway, discussion goes quit well. he quite concern dgn my liquid (air ketuban) level. perut dh terlalu besar n penuh. walaupun baru masuk 33 weeks, my uterus measured at 40 weeks!(tinggi rahim). he suggest to perform amniocentesis (process menyedut air ketuban dr perut saye) utk mengurangkan bebanan saya. I read about that before, mcm ngerii jerr.. plus its only a temporary relief. lps 3-4 hari kene buat lg.. then might be risk for infection to the baby. so, saya decide NO! at least for the moment laa.. rasanya boleh bertahan lagi nih.. walopon jalan pun dh terbongkok2.. huhuhu..

then mcm biasa scan baby.. baby's growth as per schedule. he estimate by 36 week, baby weight will be 2.5kg. so, mmg a good sign laa.. then bincang2 pasal baby's duodenal (usus) conditions. walopon mmg dh confirm his problem, tapi severeness tu still x dpt diketahui through ultrasound. mmg kene tunggu baby lahir dulu baru boleh perform xray n seterusnya surgery.

he has decided to induce/operate me on the 12th august. memula dia plan nk buat 1 week after that, tapi bila i bagitau hubby cuma balik seminggu jer, then dia pun change the date to 12. another thing is, he think i might need c-section since baby masih tak enggage and possibly mmg x kan enggaged pun sbb air banyak sgt, so dia x leh turun katanya..hmm.. tak kisah la.. mmg dari awal pun i dh ready for that..(eh, ye ke ready.. huhuhu)

cuma now rasanya mcm hubby x sempat jer berada di sisi when they perform surgery on baby..haih, dapatkah saya bertabah sorang2 time baby di operate tu.. huhuhu.. anyway, dr bava dh set appointment for hubby to meet the surgeon nanti. at least we got some idea on the plan and all.. kalau boleh nk mintak surgeon tu buat awal skit, so hubby can be there as well.

1 more thing, dr bava juga risau kalau my water leak before time or even worst takut early membrane rupture, so,dia ckp 8/8 tu saye dh kene admit dah.. hmm, dh la hubby balik 8/8 tu, terus kene g spital la jawabnya.. siann dia, dh ler keje kat hospital, cuti pun kene spend kat spital jugak..

rasanya tu jer la kot main point utk meeting smlm. next appointment will be 01/08. by meantime, dia suruh kurangkan gerak n rest well..

hopefully everything goes as plan.. kita hanya mampu merancang, Allah SWT juga yg akan menentukan segalanya..

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Edcoustic - Muhasabah Cinta

Found this video on facebook as uploaded by friend of mine..




Muhasabah Cinta


Wahai... Pemilik nyawaku
Betapa lemah diriku ini
Berat ujian dari Mu
Ku pasrahkan semua pada Mu

Tuhan... Baru ku sadar
Indah nikmat sehat itu
Tak pandai aku bersyukur
Kini kuharapkan cintaMu

Reff. :
Kata-kata cinta terucap indah
Mengalir berzikir di kidung doaku
Sakit yang ku rasa biar jadi penawar dosaku
Butir-butir cinta air mataku
Teringat semua yang Kau beri untukku
Ampuni khilaf dan salah selama ini
Ya ilahi....
Muhasabah cintaku...

Tuhan... Kuatkan aku
Lindungiku dari putus asa
Jika ku harus mati
Pertemukan aku dengan Mu

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Where its all begin...

15/06/2010
First visit to KMC – Dr. Kamarulzaman (O&G Specialist)
Scan showed AFI of 29cm + glucose in urine.
Dr. Kamal mentioned his concern on the high liquor level.
Polyhydramnios
Could be due to few possibilities, and since glucose level sedikit tinggi, he ordered 2 hr Glucose Tolerent Test for the next day.


16/06/2010

2 hrs MGTT. Been fasting from the midnight. (Throw up a bit during the test)
Test result come back normal – so Gestational Diabetic is not the reason for the high amniotic level.
Next appointment in 2 weeks time.

27/06/2010
First visit to KK Kubur Panjang – Dr Jayasree
Scan showed AFI level increase to 33cm.
Dr. Jaya advice to follow up at Hospital Sultanah Bahiyah for Anomaly Scan (detailed anatomy scan)
Request to follow up from KMC instead since Dr. Kamal pun ada mentioned nk buat another test if the Glucose Test come back normal.


30/06/2010

Follow up with Dr. Kamal @ KMC
Performed Anomaly Scan.
AFI level increase to 35cm.
Scan showed baby’s distended bowel with ‘Double-Bubble’ sign.
Possibilities of Duodenal Atresia.
Dr. Kamal advice to follow up for 2nd opinion with Dr. Bavanathan – Perinatologist/Feto Maternal at Hospital Sultanah Bahiyah (High Risk Pregnancy specialist for Northern Region).
He personally rang Dr. Bava (who happened to be his student ages ago) to discuss my conditions.
Appointment was set for the next day.


01/07/2010
First appointment with Dr. Bava @ Hospital Sultanah Bahiyah.
Dr. Bava & his team (2 other Registrar) performed another Anomaly Scan
Confirmed Double-Bubble sign.
Cardio Chogenic focus scan – Heart.
(dinding baby’s lung sedikit tipis, might be due to pressure from excessive liquid.)
Ask about any chromosome abnormalities – based on the scan, they don’t find any soft marker or abnormalities (yet).

Result
- Possible diagnosis of Duodenal Atresia
- Baby will need urgent surgery after delivery
- Dr. Bava suggest to deliver here in HSB since the specialist Paed Surgeon only available here.
- high risk of preterm labour
- suggest to induce early (36 weeks GA)
- ordered mummy to have steroid injections to help mature baby’s lung.
- Dr. Bava to contact Surgical team (paed)
- next appointment 21/07/10.

02/07/10
Hospital Sultanah Bahiyah- Labour room
2 steroid injections within 12 hrs interval.
8.00am – mummy got the first steroid shot (ouch!)
8.00pm – the second n last shot.

Current management
Continue follow up with KK for weekly antenatal check up
Home visits by senior nurses weekly
(so, bi-weekly monitored)

Note for tomorrow appointment (21/07/10)
Anxious to wait for tomorrow’s appointment...
Hopefully Dr. Bava could decide when to induce sbb daddy need to confirm the date so he can be with us.
Method of delivery: normal or c-sect? (baby still not engaged and might not be since too much liquid), hubby suggest to opt for elective c-sect to reduce stress on mummy n baby. Will consult with Dr. Bava.
To be introduced to the Neonatal team.
Possible for early admission?
To ask doctor on how severe baby’s condition? (mummy need to study more on DA today)


Ya Allah ya Tuhanku..permudahkanlah perjalanan kami.. semoga kami tidak diuji dengan penyakit2 yg tak mampu kami ubati.. amin..

Saturday, July 17, 2010

more 3d/4d photos

okeh, sambungan semalam..

::it's me!::


::Dr. ckp saye tgh bersiul2 sampai muncong2 molot::


::me in black n white::


:: my hobby: sucking my thumb ::


:: my hobby: Punching mummy's uterus wall ::