Susu oh susu – part II (The Formulas)

Pening jugak nak mencari formula milk yg bersesuaian nih..

masa kat NICU diorang kasik Lactogen, tapi i’m not happy with it. his stool nampak a bit watery n berketul2. tapi i beli la jugak lactogen sebagai back up bila dah discharged tu.. first week kat rumah dia mmg fully breastfeed, but when his weight turun mendadak tu, i did top up a bit with lactogen.

tak berpuas hati dgn lactogen, i bought Anmum plak.. first week minum mmg ok.. his stool pun nampak normal jer.. but bila masuk jer 2nd week, dia dh start nangis2 tiap kali membuang n his stool bertambah watery.. he also poops everytime i gave him formula. bila kasik breast milk ok pulak. my SIL cakap mesti sbb x sesuai susu tu..

so off me go to the shop and get Snow pulak.. sempat minum sehari jer susu snow tuh. terus cirit birit.. haish.. kebetulan nurse datang, dia suggest NAN pulak. emaknya ni pun pegi lah beli NAN.. tetap tidak berkesan!!

at that time mmg depend on breastmilk jer laa.. but keadaan becoming worst bila his weight terus turun masa weekly check up with his paed kat HSB tu. doctor dah buat surat utk admit dia.. they want to monitor his weight n feed him through tube. saya mmg tak berpuas hati laa bab nak masukkan tube tu. enough with the pain he had for the first 2 weeks of his life!.. lgpun dia bukannya tak nak minum, tapi blom jumpa susu bersesuaian jer.. plus his having cirit birit as well, sbb tu he is losing weight.

nasib baik masa tu Dato dr Teh (Head of Paed Dept) ada. i ask her if they can give me few more days. i promise kalau his weight tak naik jugak after this, then they can admit him. so, she allows us to go home.. :) dah jadik mcm tu, i went back to lactogen laa.. walopon he still pooping every feeding, tapi at least tak de la cirit birit.. Alhamdulillah after a week, his gaining weight. so, diorang x jadik ler admit.. :)

after few weeks with lactogen, my milk supply bertambah kurang. instead of 2-3 kali top up per day, dah increase to 5 times per day. lepastu his stool bertambah watery n kadang2 tu mcm cirit jugak.. then perut mmg kembung sentiasa. tak tau dah nk buat mcm mana, i think its time to change the formula milk to soya base. drpd symptom2 tu  he probably have lactose intolerance (main agak2 sendiri jer nih).

so Isomil it is.. Alhamdulillah masalah pembuangannya selesai.. his stool pun soft n yellow/brownish jer.. perut pun dah tak kembung lagi..

but 1 of the doctor in HSB told my friend (her son has quite similar problem with Z^ch) that soy based milk x brp bagus compared to cow’s base.. banyak ler kekurangannya.. hmmm.. i read the content, lebih kurang sama jerr.. then tak berpuas hati, i asked paed at KMC, dia ckp mmg ler dulu2 punya soy base milk tak bagus sangat.. but isomil dah pun di advancekan and has been added with all sort of ingredients utk setanding dgn cow’s base..hmmm.. ok la tu kot.. we have been using Isomil for more than a month now..

however, being me, still x berpuas hati.. search more info from internet. mmg rata2 ckp soy base tu tak bagus sgt. you shouldn’t gave soy base milk to your infant unless mmg dah tak der choice lain dah..

so, pagi semalam, just being curious, saya pun gave him anmum. just ONCE nk tgk ok ke tak.. sekali, tgh hari tu terus dia cirit birit…mmg kuar mcm air jer.. WAAAAAAAaaaaaa…!! I am sorry sayangggg… nampaknya mmg confirm he is lactose intolerance..

plan kalau harini tak baik2 jugak, mmg kena bawak g pead jer la.. Alhamdulillah dah ok skit. berak2 tu dh kurang laa.. and his stool pun dah more solid n soft dah.. but his tummy still unsettled laa.. kembung2 lagi.. huhuhu.. kesian anak mama.. I AM SO SORRY DEAR….

hopefully kat ireland ada la Isomil nih.. or any soy base or lactose free milk.. sana mmg tak bnyk sgt choice.. mmg mummy kene angkut stock bebanyak ler sbg bekal bwk balik sana nanti..

updated - OMG! apesal Isomil naik harga dgn mendadak? last 2 week beli baru RM53 ke RM56 ntah.. today dah jadik RM63++.. but with new added formula katanya.. hopefully Z^ch x de alahan ler dgn new ingredients tu..

Detik-detik Kelahiran Part I (pre-delivery)

Setelah lebih 2 bulan, barulah nk menceritakan detik2 kelahiran nih.. hehehe.. tak per lah, asal adaa.. yg penting sebagai memory di kemudian hari.. 

8th August 2010

Seperti yg tlh diarahkan oleh Dr Bava, harini saya perlu melaporkan diri di hospital Sultanah Bahiyah. Hari ini juga hubby dijadualkan tiba from Ireland. So tgh hari tu dgn ditemani oleh my mum n my sis, kami ke airport untuk menjemput hubby yg tiba around 2.30pm gitu. lepas berdrama air mata sebabak dua,around 4pm kami pun terus ke  PAC (Patient Admission Centre).

Sementara menunggu giliran utk CTG scan suma2 tu, saya dan suami berbincang dgn admission nurse. nak minta private room, rupa2 nya tak de private room utk wad bersalin. ahhh sudahh.. takkan la saya nk stay 4 hari before delivery tu kat public room kot.. nope, saya tak kisah nk stay public room, yg saya kisahkan – suami saya.. kesian dia, dh la cutinya cuma 1 mgu, pastu x dpt stay dgn saya plak tuu..

terus saya carik dr Haliza. nk mintak tangguh admission. tapi dia sedang ber conference pulak. so, pesan kat nurse, bila dr Haliza habis conference, cepat2 inform dia saya nk jumpa.. sambil2 tunggu dr Haliza tu, saya buat ler ctg scan.. lamaa giler.. bila dh siap, dh pukul 5.30pm. terus tanya nurse, dr Haliza dh habis conference blom, dia ckp blom.. ok fineee.. then ade MO dtg nk check saye. saya ckp nk tunggu dr haliza jugak. so, dia pegi check, rupanya conference dh lama habis n dr haliza dh balik dh pun.. waaaa…hampeh ko nurse!!!

Doctor2 lain kat situ pun kesiankan saya, tapi diorang x dpt nk buat ape2 laa since bos dh suruh admit kan.. nak tak nak, terpaksa la saya stay.. huhuhu.. kesian hubby..

dah habis suma urusan admission n initial check up tu, saya pun disorong ke wad Kenanga 2A. masa tu dh pukul 8pm. dh kiss2 goodbye dan drama air mata lg 2-3 babak, suami pun terpaksa beredar. tinggallah saya sendirian utk pertama kalinya seumur hidup saya tido dlm wad..(with 2 other patient dlm bilik tu..)

sementara tu, hubby pulak check in hotel dekat town. nak balik kampung mcm susah la plak utk dia berulang alik ke hospital sebab kampung agak jauh..

9th August 2010

Malam tadi x tidur lena sgt sbb every 3 hrs nurse dtg utk check heartbeat baby.. pagi tu around 6 am doctor oncall dtg melawat. borak2 dgn dia n mentioned nk kuar. dia ckp kene mintak permission dari consultant laa.. so, tunggu lah consultant round pulak..

tetiba dlm pukul 8.30am gitu, dgr kecoh2 kat luar oh rupa2nya dr Haliza n her team datang melawat saye.. terus mentioned kat dia saya nk kuar sekejap.. semalam pun ok lah.. but then she comes with other news..

Dr Haliza ckp Dato’ Mohan (the paed surgeon) baru jer call. dia ada urgent family matters kat perak n tak dpt jumpa saya n hubby today and most importantly, he request to do the surgery on my baby sehari lebih awal (i.e. on the 12th) – which also mean that my c-sect date pun kene sehari awal la..

Tapi 11th Aug tu Public Holiday (Awal Ramadhan). dr haliza n dr bava cuti lah, and hanya ada oncall doctor jer.. dr bava akan dtg ler utk tgk2 saya, tapi he will not perform the surgery.. so, diorang suruh decide whether i still want them to deliver my baby on the 12th (and other dr to perform surgery on baby) or other doctor yg sambut my baby n Dato Mohan can perform his surgery.. tanpa berfikir panjang, of course i want Dato Mohan. after all  he is the best well known surgeon in northern. (dr bava pun the best OnG in northern gak.. but baby’s case is more urgent)

so decision is made. lepas borak2 dgn dr haliza tu, dia terus call dr bava inform my decision. pastu dia pun tanya if i can be discharged for a day. dr bava pun very understanding and allowed me to go.. dgn syarat i have to be back tomorrow before maghrib.. heheehe..

sebelum balik tu, me n hubby met with Mr Uma. Dato Mohan suruh dia jumpa kitorang n explain about the surgery since he cant be there himself. Terharu betul dgn kebaikan Dato Mohan.. busy2 dia pun sanggup balik sekejap just to perform our baby’s surgery.. Mr. Uma tanya la if we know him personally, and he quite surprise knowing that we havent even met. Actually dr Bava yg beriya2 recommend dato mohan nih.

tgh hari tu, saya pun angkut lah semula segala beg2 saya n check in hotel with hubby.. at last, dapat juga bersama hubby setelah lebih 2 bulan x bersua.. huhuhu.. that night kitorang kuar makan2 kat town.. yer la, lepas nih saya kan dh kene berpantang…

10th August 2010

::Last day hidup ber dua – perutku yg sungguh maju kedepan::

seperti yg dijanjikan, ptg tu saya pun melaporkan diri ker PAC semula.. nurse2 tu suma hairan, apesal dtg balik?? hahahah..

dah settled urusan admission tu, saya pun dimasukkan semula ke ward, but this time wad kenanga 2C pulak.. malam tu, mmg dah dup dap dup dap dah.. warghh.. besok nk kene operate nih..

walaupun pada asalnya saya dikategorikan sebagai elective c-sect, tapi sebab tarikh dh ubah tu, maka saya di klasifikasikan sbg semi emergency (SE-LSCS) la pulak.. disebabkan itu,  masa utk operation dimulakan tidaklah diketahui.. haiyooo, lagi lah menggelabah saya. setiap kali doctor (HO) datang, saya mesti tanya, agak2 saya kene pukul baper doctor? hahaha.. mmg gelabah habis laa..

malam tu jugak nurse panggil utk shaving private part.. saya ckp saya tak mo.. saya dh buat sendiri la nurse.. tapi nurse tu ttp tak pedulik, dia kata, biar dia check dulu.. maka saya pun telah dinodai buat pertama kali nya.. hahaha.. kelakar btol.. (okeh malu sebenarnya), seb baik ler saya kene operate, kalau tak mesti kene seluk2 pulak.. haiyooo…

lepas adengan selak menyelak tu, HO datang.. dia ckp nk masukkan line (canula) kat tangan saya.. saya pun serahkan jer la tangan saya tu, sekali masa dia masukkan jarum tu, memancut2 darah keluar.. habis lantai n terpercik gak ke cadar.. menggelabah la dia.. boleh plak dia pause sekejap sbb tatau nk buat apa.. (biasa laaa, doctor baru kan..) seb baik teman sebilik saya cepat2 g amik tissue.. pastu dh lap2 tu,boleh pulak dia tutup cap tak rapat, tetiba jer darah saya mencurah2 keluar semula… hahahaha…(okeh, scary sebenarnya.. tapi kelakar sungguh tgk muka dia pucat lesi..).she knows my hubby pun doctor, sbb tu la dia takut tuu.. heheheh.. tapi mmg sampai pening2 la jugak saya sbb darah banyak keluar..

:: Pelapik cadar dh ditukar, tapi masih ade kesan darahnya.. huhuh::

oh, masa saya warded tu, saya jugak berkenalan dgn sorang medic student (Chinese) final year nih.. ape nama ntah, ahkak lupa la pulak.. dari first night lagi dia meng interview saya.. saya pun layan jer laa.. sbb ingat time hubby student dulu pun, katanya agak susah nk dpt patient yg nk cooperate.. memahami situasi tersebut, maka segala informasi lah saya bagitau dia.. sukalah beliau sbb my case pun agak rare.. siap di angkutnya kengkawan 2-3 org lagi.. tapi at least ade peneman.. sbb kejap2 dia dtg borak2.. siap bawak air lagi..  drpd hari first, sampai lah ke hari last saye dia spital, dia yg menemani.. (and i still cant get his name!!)

anyway, malam tu saya tak dapat nak tido nyenyak.. gelisah, resah, takut, excitement, suma ada.. tak habis2 saya berdoa semoga semuanya berjalan lancar.. roomate saya bertukar ganti dlm masa hanya beberapa jam tu.. semua sibuk kira contraction or brp cm dah ‘buka’ saya plak masih relax.. mmg tak sakit ape langsung pun.. cuma perasaan jer yg tertekan… my life will completely change tomorrow…

(to be continued…)

2 Months Old Today

wow, pejam celik pejam celik, dah 2 bulan putera kesayangan hamba nih.. still rasa mcm dlm mimpi (mimpi indah dan mimpi sedih). mcm baru semalam jer excited tgk +’ve line kat pregnancy test tu.. –> which also remind me, I should write down the birth story sblm saya terlupa.. aiyaa..

harini  (11/10/10) Z^chary got his 2nd hep B jab at KMC. nasib baik dia melalak (more kind of menjerit) sekejapan aje.. good boy betul.. tapi peha dia mcm membengkak skit.. i read somewhere yg better letak vicks dekat tempat dia kene injection tu, which i already did. then dah kasik ubat demam pun.. hopefully dia x demam laa..

anyway, his progress so far;

• weight = 3.7kg.. ok, mmg weight dia tak naik banyak.. other babies his age already weighting 5-6 kg dah.. but doctor kata its ok since he is premature plus his weight turun banyak after surgery dulu tuu.. furthermore, he is healthy n active, so nothing to worry.. (oh, dan maknye pun kocik ajee.. its in our gene honey..)
• height = 57cm.. ni mmg naik banyak compared to birth (44cm jer). mmg dia nampak panjang pun for his size.. bagus, biar tinggi mcm papa yerr
• his development:
  • dah pandai senyum2 and akan pandang muka kite sambil tersenyum kalau kite bercakap dgn dia.
  • love bright colours! dah pandai staring at his mobile / play gym. kalau letak kat playmat dia tu, mesti terpusing2 sana sini tgk mende2 bergayutan tu.. especially yellow.
  • started to cooing.. kalau kite ckp2 dgn dia, mesti mulut terkumat kamit.. tapi suara tu kadang2 jer la kuar..aahh.. eehh, oohh.. lebihnya muncung2  jer.. kalau kat playmat dia tu, kadang2 dengar jugak dia berborak dgn toys dia tuu..
  • listening to music.. slalu i pasangkan nursery song from my iphone.. mesti dia excited.. then slalu i nyanyi2 kan skali sambil gerak2 kan badan dia.. mmg tersengih2 jer laa.
  • sometimes dia akan menoleh kalau kiter panggil or when he hear noise dekat2 dia..
  • still can not hold his head steady.. kalau tiarapkan pun he still struggle utk shift from side to side.. boleh tu boleh la.. tapi mmg gigil2 jer..
  • tangan dia boleh grasp dgn kuat.. pastu dh pandai tolak botol susu kalau dia x suka.. then sibuk nk pegang botol.. mcm ler kuat sgt.. oh, selalu tampar2 mummy, n my necklace slalu jadik mangsa tarikan
  • masih lagi tido 3-4 hrs.. n at night kalau feed him around 12 tgh mlm gitu, he will only gets up at 6-7 am esoknya.. tapi kalau dia terjaga around 3-4 am tu, mmg tersengguk2 ler nk tunggu dia tido balik.. siap diajaknya berborak sampai 2-3 jam kadang2 tu.. huhuhu..
  • poop 5 times a day! aduss, patut ler tak naik berat badan.. makan jer, terus buang… but his stool adelah normal (soft n yellowish), so paed ckp its normal then..
  • dah start banyak menangis! masa dlm pantang tu, susah btol nk dgr dia menangis. lepas jer pantang, uish, bangun tido jer terus menjerit. bukan nk ek..ekk dulu.. terus masuk gear 5 org kata.. then everytime change his nappy pun melalak2.. adoii, memula ingatkan sbb sakit ade rashes ke.. tapi bila rashes dh baik pun still terjerit2.. haihh kenapa lah kamu ini nak…
  • clingy – asik nk duduk atas ribaa jerr.. kalau nk tido tu, mmg kene riba dulu laa.. kadang2 tu 2-3 kali angkat letak, tak juga tido2.. mmg sakit pinggang mama nih nak oiii…seb baik ler mak kamu ni cuti lama lagi.. ish ish..

Hmm..itu jer kot yg teringat so far.. he might be a bit behind compared to other babies (especially his size), but its ok.. mama so proud of you baby. biarlah org sibuk compare awak dgn anak jiran sebelah yg sebulan lebih tua tuuu.. yes he is bigger than you, yes he is stronger than you, but in term of other development progress, sama ajee despite the fact that he is older! pffftt!

(okeh, mama mmg tak puas hati dgn cakap2 mereka, but that doesnt mean that im not happy with your progress.. U already ahead consider that you are premie!)

p/s: ketika entry ini ditulis, anakanda kesayangan tgh wide awake.. nampak gaya sampai kol 3 pagi ler cenggini.. mama ngantukk sgt dah ni shayammm huhuhu

Chromosome Study

27th Sept lepas we had appointment for chromosome study (for Down Syndrome). Diorang amik sample darah Z^chary utk di hantar ke Lab.

Kesian anak mama, meraung2 masa kene ambik darah tu.. bukan aje anak, maknya pun meleleh2 air mata jugak dengar anak meraung.. huhuhu.. Z^chary ni bukan la jenis yg suka melalak.. dia nangis pun bila bangun tido kalau dah lapar sgt jer.. lebihnya setakat merengek2 skit2 tu ada la.. so, bila dia dh meraung2 tu, mmg sakit sgt la tu kot.. mamanya try jugak nk be strong, alaa, stakat ambik darah jer tu.. tapi lepas dgr dia meraung2 tu, aduss..berderai2 air mate… huhuhu… siannn anak mama nih..

:: Mamaaa.. tangan sayee sakit ni.. huhuhu.. ::

Back to the study, the result will only be in after 2 months.. tak sabar rasanya kami menunggu. sekarang everything is so blurry.. reason is because we got different opinion from different peads. even paed2 yg dekat HSB tu pun bercanggah pendapat. some of them sgt confident Z^chary has DS, tapi ade gak a few yg ckp no.. last 2 weeks i went to get another opinion from pead specialist at KMC, dia pun ckp NO. he thinks Z^chary is too active for DS. plus from his examination, mmg the signs are not so clear. kalau ada pun the extra chromosome, it should be very mild..

ntah la.. sbb tu i really looking forward for the result. not that it will change anything on my feeling toward him, i just want confirmation so we can plan for his future. lagipun i havent mentioned it to anybody except my immediate family (n beberapa kerat blog readers). bukan nk rahsiakan, tapi tatau nk ckp mcm mana sbb kitorang pun blom confirm lg.. *sigh*

of course i always pray that he will be ‘normal’ (what ever the definition is) but at the same time, i want to be prepared.

Z^chary Aiman adalah amanah Allah kepada kami. Kami akan tetap menyayangi dia biar apa pun keadaannya. Dia sangat sempurna di mata kami. InsyaAllah, kami akan berusaha memberikan yang terbaik kepadanya.