Moments when my heart stop beating… (cont.)

Part 1 

Sunday, 7th Nov 2010

Day 1

Lepas suma urusan admission, kami pun dibawa ke bilik. Then around 7pm, doctor datang utk ambik darah n masukkan cannula utk drip. Masa nk ambik darah tu, doctor cakap yg both hand dia dh terlalu banyak kene cucuk.. urat2 suma dh herot2.. huhuhu..siannn anak mama.. melalak tu toksah ckp ler.. siap terjerit2 teresak2 lg.. lama plak tu process nk ambik darah tu, sbb doctor perlukan 2 tube.. mummy terpaksalah buat muka keringg jerr.. lepas jer doctor n nurses blah, mummy plak yg melalak2.. waaaaa… x sampai hati tgk.. sob..sob..

mlm tu jugak diorang start antibiotic n masuk air. then every hr mesti nurse akan dtg utk ambik temperature. nasib baik suhu dh turun to 38 degree.. tidonya pun dh tak mengerang sgt.. mummy pun dh boleh tido skit2.. tapi still kena pangku laa..

 

Monday, 8th Nov 2010

pagi tu dlm pukul 9.30am, dr sharifah dtg with the blood result.. Yes, it was confirmed that the bacteria has reached the brain!! his protein-CRP level is 169 (normal hanyalah 5). tapi alhamdulillah mineral2 lain still within normal range, mengikut kata doctor that shows that the infection still at early stage.. she will continue the treatment for 7 days.. better over treated, than under treated katanya.. and of course i agree to that..

again, lepas jer doctor n nurse keluar, i cried my heart out! why oh why my poor baby has to go through all this..

Petang tu doc dtg lagi. His diarrhoea becoming worst. stool mmg cair habis.. perut pulak mmg bloated. doc kata mmg activity dlm perut dia sgt active. since he is consuming Isomil (yg mmg slalunya digunakan utk treated baby yg cerry berry), doctor pun pelik apesal dia masih x baik2.. maybe the soya based gave impact to his tummy kot.. soya kan banyak angin… so she gave us susu Novalec (lactose free jugak, but from cow’s base).

 

Tuesday, 9th Nov 2010

Day 3

His temperature dh turun to 37 degree.. Alhamdulillah, demam dh baik.. suam2 jer badan.. ada la ketika waktu yg temperature naik skit, tapi still ok nurse ckp..

Tapi his diarrhoea still x baik2.. tambah teruk ada la kot.. his stool dh kaler putih jer.. susu novalec tu mmg mcm pelek skit texture n smell dia. memula ok aje dia minum, tapi harini he refused to drink any. bila doc dtg petang nya, i complaint laa.. so, doctor pun allow him to take isomil balik.. dapat jer isomil, terus dia minum dgn rakusnya.. siaann anak mama kelaparan.. huhuhu

 

Wednesday, 10th Nov 2010

smlm his diarrhoea looks improving. dh start ada sikit2 solid dlm his stool tu.. so, masa doc dtg paginya, i told her the great news laa.. doc pun happy with the progress.. pastu tgh dok borak2 dgn doctor tu, tetiba jer dia berry2 lagi. doctor pun nk tgk ler.. skali bila bukak jer diapers tu, there is BLOOD!!!!

terkejut beruk ler kitorang.. banyak n fresh plak tu.. terus doctor suruh nurse ambik sample n request for another blood test. doctor kata dia takut pada 2 possibilities – 1st takut ada problem with his operation. terbukak ke apa ker.. and 2nd is rotavirus.

again, lepas doctor keluar, mamanya melalak2.. lepas satu, satu perkara terjadi to my poor baby.. mcm2 yg berlegar2 di kepala saya.. *sigh*. my baby pulak asik laa melalak sbb kelaparan.. tapi doc suruh puasa.. ya Allah, mmg both anak n emak melalak2 ler jawabnya… nasib baik bilik single, x perlu nk cover2 malu ke hape ke.. 

petang tu doc dtg lagi with the result. dia kata she couldnt find any problem with the blood. so, tatau kenapa tetiba jer berdarah. maybe sbb his usus got too much information kot.. dgn berbagai jenis ubat.. dgn tukar2 susu lagi.. dgn temperature yg tak menentu lagi.. dia ckp suruh monitor jer the blood. kalau worsen, baru she will do another test. that time, there’s still blood in his stool, tapi x sebanyak pagi tadi laa..

the good news is, his protein CRP level dh turun ke 36 (from 169)! thats a huge improvement!

owh, Z^ch pun dh boleh minum, but doc suruh start with 30ml jer dulu.. dia slalu minum 100ml, mana cukup.. waaaa… kesian betol tgk dia melalak2 tu.. dh la tak boleh dukung bawak jenjalan sbb ada drip tu kan.. adoiii.. kesiannn dia..

 

Thursday, 11th Nov 2010

This morning, blood dh tak der.. lega skit hati mummy.. diarrhoea pun dh semakin berkurangan.. tapi bum-bum dia melecet terukkk sangat.. merah n berbiji2.. setiap kali tukar diapers jer, mesti dia melalak2.. dh la diarrhoea, bnyk kali ler kena tukar.. sampai dh serak2 suara dia..

doc dh kasik minum 2oz per session.. so, ok la skit.. walopon he still merengek2 wants more every time he finished the milk. Ptg tu doc dh stop drip. yeay! akhirnya bebas.. barulah boleh bawak dia jalan2 sekitar bilik.. he looks better n cheerful.. alhamdulillah..

 

Friday, 12th Nov 2010

kalau ikutkan doc dah kasik balik harini.. tapi esok kena dtg lg la utk last antibiotic.. i pikir2, mcm susah jer nk ulang alik, so we choose to stay for another night.

Apart from diarrhoea n melecet2 tu,Z^ch pun dh semakin ok.. asik meniarappp jer kejenya.. yer la, dh brp hari tangan kena ikat, bila dh stop drip tu, mmg bergolek2 jer laaa :)

 

Saturday, 13th Nov 2010

Last antibiotic was given at 11am.. slalunya 1-2 hrs dh habis dh.. tapi sbb diorang dh berhentikan iv drip tu, the line dah blocked n drip tu mmg slow habis laa.. nurse mintak nk cucuk lg sekali utk masukkan line baru.. Nehiiii!! dh ler last treatment dh, ko nk tebuk lg skali tgn munggil anakku?? saya ckp saya sanggup tunggu..

tunggu punya tunggu, dh pukul 3pm. antibiotic baru habis separuh jer.. hadoiii.. camner nih?? last2 nurse call doctor sharifah. doc kata tak per la.. stop jer la.. x berbaloi pun nk cucuk line baru..

so there it was.. after 1 week at hospital, we were finally home.. another episode of our live.. there were times when i felt lost, give-up, angry and weak.. but i know things happen for reasons. and i thank to Allah for the strength n patient He gave me.. above all, I am thankful for the best gift i ever had in my life - Z^ch^ry Aiman… mummy love you so much sayang..

Moments when my heart stop beating…

What will you do when your baby having seizure and its public holiday where all nearby clinics were closed and to make the matter worst, you cant reach any hospitals because its was flooded everywhere… ARGGHHHHH!!!!

:: Image googled ::

Jumaat, 5th Nov 2010 (Deepavali day)

Se awal pagi lagi kami dah keluar utk ke rumah my aunty.. saje lepak with my cousin yg baru jer deliver a new baby boy. Z^ch masih lagi ceria seperti biasa. tgh hari tu pun dia masih blom menunjukkan apa2 perubahan. then around 2pm cam tu, he asleep. pukul 4pm i woke him up for his milk. masa tu i dh rasa mcm suam2 jer badan dia.. tak sedap hati, terus ajak my mum balik..

sampai rumah, kemas2 barang suma, around 5.30 gitu i rasa badan dia macam dah panas sgt nih.. test his temperature, dah 37.8 degree. terus i amik cool fever and tepek kat dahi dia.. then 6pm i checked his temperature again, dah 38.5! OMG! terus gelabah.. dah demam panas nih. terus call my cousin, dia suruh lap2 dengan air..

bila his temperature reach 39++ hati mmg dh tak tenang dah..sambil lap2 badan dia, sambil2 call sana sini.. sebabkan deepavali, suma clinic berdekatan tutup.. hmm, besok jer la baru boleh g clinic nih.. nasib baik i still have paracetamol yg doctor kasik time dia kene jab dulu.. so, kasik dia minum ubat tu ler dulu

malam tu, his temperature tak turun2 jugak..my mum ambik daun bunga raya putih utk buat air lap2.. still jugak tak berkesan. dia dh start menangis2 n mengerang2 x selesa.. memang i riba jer the whole time..

then around 10pm, lepas menyusu, i keep talking to him and he smile back, suddenly his eyes rolling!!!! badan pun dah mcm keras2.. terus i meraung.. MAAAAKKKKK kenapa dgn Z^ch nih? my mum tgk and cakap,ya Allah dia dah tarik nih! nasib baik my nieces / nephew ada yg  pernah jadik, so at least my mum knows what to do. sambil melalak2 tu, i open his shirt and lap2 seluruh badan dgn air yg banyak.. agak lama jugak it happen. dlm 3-5 mins gitu.. at last he started to cry… phew, legaa.. thats mean he is back..

my mom terus call my uncle pak ndak. i masa tu dh siap2 dah. what ever happen, i want to bring him to the hospital. then pak ndak n mak ndak dtg. diorang baca2 n hembus2 skit.. (diorang nih ustaz ustazah) he looks  a bit better, but his eyes still mcm juling2. pak ndak ckp most road to alor star ditutup sebab banjir mcm mana i nk g hospital.. tak pedulik, i have to try. maybe ada jalan yg dh dibukak..

so, at 11pm my uncle pun volunteer and drove us to alor star.our aim is to find any hospital yg available. sampai alor star, we tried few roads. suma tak boleh nak lalu. air terlalu tinggi sampai pinggang. both KMC and PMC mmg tak boleh nk pegi. HSB lagi la x boleh.. kami berpusing2 meredah air banjir tu sampai pukul 1 pagi.

ya Allah, dugaan apakah ini? i keep on crying.. at the same time, mak ndak yg hold Z^ch, sambil2 dia bacakan doa.. so, dalam keterpaksaan, we have to headed back home. malam tu kami tidur di rumah atok sbb risau if anything happen again.

it was a very long and painful night. his temperature dah naik to 40. lepas tu i mmg tak check dah sbb takut sgt tgk.. his eyes pun still juling2 and he demand to be hold all the time. mmg me n my mum x tido langsung that night. i keep on checking the clock. cepat laa pagi… i nk bawak dia pegi clinic berdekatan.. i mmg x leh pandang langsung muka dia..  especially his eyes.. mmg meleleh2 jer air mata.. last2 my mum yg dukung and keep on lap2 his body.

 

Saturday, 6th Nov 2010

Tepat jer 9am, i terus drove to the nearby clinic. rupa2nya clinic masih tutup sbb deepavali. hari jumaat mmg cuti di kedah. so diorang ambik sabtu as public holiday.. dlm keadaan ting tong sbb x tido smlm, i drove to pekan pendang. first few clinics we pass by mmg tutop. tapi nasib baik ler ada satu clinic (Klinik Dr Rahimah) ni bukak. tapi punya laaa ramai org.

jumpa doctor, she didnt express any worried or concern. cuma dia agree his temperature mmg tinggi sangat. dia kasik ubat demam, antibiotic n ubat cirit. thats it. ok fine, may be i jer yg gelabah lebih kot…

doctor Rahimah cakap mmh hospital suma tak boleh pegi. kalau pegi pun diorang akan suruh ke penang or sungai petani jer sbb bekalan electric suma terputus.. hmm.. then, from news air bertambah naik di kawasan alor star.. *sigh* kenapalah ini semua terjadi??

anyway, balik rumah petang tu mcm tak de apa2 perubahan pun.. his temperature still 39++ and even worst, he started having diarrhoea. so, again we were having a very long night.. but slightly better sbb at least dia dah boleh tido walaupun kejap2 aje..

 

Sunday, 7th Nov 2010

pagi2 tu, news kat radio ckp air dh surut skit and ada few roads yg dh dibuka.. so, i terus rang KMC. the reception ckp air depan hospital dh kering, tapi only 1 road jer yg boleh access. and specialist will only be in after 2.30. tu pun only 1 pead jer yg dpt dtg.lain2 suma masih terkandas.

so ptg tu, cousin i Fairuz yg drove us to KMC (dia tau alternative road). sampai sana, as expected mmg ramai btol kanak2 yg sakit. yer laa, dh brp hari hospital tutup.. harini berpusu2 ler org datang. our pead dr Lim mmg x der. yg ada dr Sh Khadijah jer.. we got our turn dlm pukul 5pm.

jumpa jer doctor, citer2 all history.. doctor terus concern. dia ckp its normal for babies utk kene demam n seizure nih, but not for under 6 month old! tambahan pulak with his history of premature, DA and DS mmg high risk for infection to reach his brain.. ya Allah, dengar jer mende tu, terus gigil2 jer rasanya.. so, she advise us to stay and she will start the antibiotic as soon as possible.

eh, tuan kecik saya dh bangun.. will continue later..

Ya Allah.. Kepadamu aku memohon..

Ya Allah.. Ringankan lah kesakitan yg ditanggung oleh buah hatiku ini..
Ya Allah... Berilah aku kekuatan utk menempuh ujianMu ini..

Z^chary was admitted due to high temp fever and seizure attack on 5th Nov. his body (and probably brain) already being infected and currently on antibiotic.
he just recovered from the fever, and now started having diarrhoea - with blood!



mama love u soo much sayang. please be strong and get well soon..

-KMC room 515-

Meniarap?

Since last 2 weeks lg baby Z^ch^ry sungguh galak main rolling2 nih. pantang letak jer mula lah dia nk senget2. pastu bila x dapat meniarap, mesti mengamuk.. aduiii…! ikut perangai sapa la nih.. (*ehem).

at the age of 2 months and 2 weeks (or 6 week adjusted age consider that he is a premie) he finally being able to roll himself.

well, x sure la if it can be categorised as meniarap or not  sebab ----- he actually cant even raise his head yet!! akibatnya bila dah telangkup tu, mula lah dia tenyeh2 muka dia kat tilam. he could move his face from side to side, but for some reason, dia prefers utk sembamkan muka dia. sampai merah2 pipi n hidung. tapi dia x lak menangis. muka bangga jer every time boleh meniarap tu. then bila dh meniarap, dia akan berusaha utk push up plak.. in a way, bagus jugak boleh strengthen his neck.. tapi masih belum berjaya..

of course saya tak kan biarkan dia tersembam tu lama2.. kang tak bleh bernafas plak.. itu yg merisaukan tu.. memang tak boleh biarkan dia sendirian dah ler.. kang ada yg tergolek jatuh katil plak..

mari kite tgk aksi si kecil nih..

 

:: Kawan2, mari belajar rolling bersama saya ::

:: mula2 kite mengiringkan badan sedikit ::

  :: kemudian, dengan lonjakan yg kuat, kite telangkupkan badan kite ::

:: sila betulkan tangan anda supaya tidak tersepit yer kawan2 ::

:: aahh… that’s better ::

:: now it’s time to lift your head pulak.. PUSH! ::

  :: Oopps! Why my montot yg naik lebih tinggi dari kepala? hihihi ::

 

tak per lah.. esok cuba lagi yer.. mummy so proud of you dear.. buat pelan2 pun x per.. practise make purrfect! :)