Thyroid

Doctor Mona (GP) call mama on Thursday and her conversation begin with ' you know what, you are right all along!' Yep, I knew it has something to do with his thyroid. His iron level is ok and his blood count also perfect. Bila mama tengok result thyroid Z masa lepas surgery haritu (which is VERY normal) I know something is not right. TSH Z tak pernah normal. Selalu above average. Not much higher, but slightly over. But his T3 and T4 is still within normal range.Sub-clinical Hypothyroid. So Dr Murnaghan (Paed) cakap tak perlu treatment sebab he doesnt really have other symptom pun. Plus mama n papa pun tak nak ler Z's life depends on ubat.

And now his TSH is quite high, and t3 t4 still within the range (but t4 is quite low). Dr Mona cakap Sub-clinical hypot jer if based on numbers (lab value). The only problem is, the symptoms. Hair loss, constipation (sekarang Z cuma bm every 3 days!), enlarged tongue and recently fatigue (asik nak tido jer keje dia.. kejap2 sangap. Nap 2 jam pun tak cukup). Those are quite alarming. Dr Mona pun tak sure to proceed with treatment or not, so dia refer us to paed endocrinologist. Hmm.. lagi 2-3 bulan la jawabnya.. 

Botak ler kepala Z kalau nak tunggu lagi 3 bulan. Mama tak risau sangat pasal botak tu sebab once the thyroid is ok, his hair will grow back. Mama cuma risau pasal constipation and fatigue. Constipation could effect his bowel blockage. Pastu asik penat jer.. Weekend haritu Z cranky sepanjang masa. Temperature takde lah tinggi, suam2 sikit badan tapi asik menangis and nak menempek dengan mama jer.. Ya Allah.. risau betul mama. Dah lama dah Z tak sakit2. Last dia demam teruk masa awal April dulu jer. Since then, memang sihat walafiat until now.. 

Honestly, mama lagi prefer putting him under thyroid supplement now. Papa kata nanti susah nak wean off sebab once dah start dia akan depends on the medicine and wont be able to produce his own hormone. But I think we should for now. It has been nearly 3 years now and his TSH never normal. Sigh..

Btw, Dr Mona pun dah resign.. (-____-')

Hair loss

Perbezaan dalam masa sebulan..

Pening mama fikirkan.. Pada mulanya mama memang sangat risaukan takut Alopecia Areata. Tapi setelah sebulan observation, mama rasa bukan kot sebab rambut Z gugur secara menyuruh, bukan bertompok tompok. Plus AA selalunya happen quite sudden. Dalam masa sebulan dah boleh nampak botak. But in Z's case takde la sampai botak, menipis jer.. 

Seminggu lepas potong rambut haritu, mama nampak kepala Z ada flakes. Macam kelumumur, lebih kepada cradle cap kot. Bahagian depan jer, penuh keping2. Mama pegi pharmacy, diorang suggest Dentinox. So pagi2 mama sapukan minyak kelapa (vco) and biarkan sekejap, then mandikan and shampoo with dentinox. Alhamdulillah hilang flakes and Z pun dah kurang garuk2 kepala. Tapi kena buat tiap2 hari, kalau tak naik balik flakes tu. Tapi rambut Z masih gugur seperti biasa.?

Then mama risau takut ringworm ke? Ringworm pun boleh sebabkan hairloss.. Ringworm symptom includes flakes on scalp. Hanya doctor (dermatologist) bleh confirm.

Lagi satu mama rasa ada kena mengena dgn thyroid jugak. Last thyroid test masa Z lepas surgery haritu. Result normal jer (walaupun sebelum2 nih TSH level selalu top of the normal range..). Masa jumpa ankel bazak (endocrinologist) haritu mama tanya la, ada possibilities tak. Dia kata maybe, sebab thyroid test after surgery x leh pakai. Dia suggest p buat test baru. 

So mama call la nak buat appointment dengan Doctor Nia, rupa2nya dia dah tak buat practise (GP). She's a prof in UCD now.. Sight, sedih mama sebab after so long, I finally found the best doctor, but now dia dah berhenti la pulak.. Kena cari doctor baru. Seminggu jugak mama survey sana sini. Finally decided to go to Dr Mona (errmm.. Ok la, baru first time jumpa...)

Anyway, jumpa dr Mona on Friday. Dia pun pening. She never seen a toddler that loss their hair the way Z is. Lepas examined Z's hair/head, she ruled out AA and ringworm. Lega sikit di situ... Dia rasa lebih kepada iron deficiency. Hmm kind of make sense, sebab Iron level Z memang selalu on lower range pun. Memang keturunan mama pun semua camtu, not aneamic but low iron. Lagipun semenjak dua nih Z dah kurang minum susu. 2 botol jer sehari. supplement iron memang takde. harapkan sikit2 from his diet jer la.. Pastu mama baru re introduced curcumin kat Z (stop masa surgery dulu). curcumin is a mild iron chelator. sblm ni mama bagi malam sblm tido, tapi skrg mama p bagi waktu pagi (which shown some good improvement in Z's babbling!). Mama rasa sebabtu la iron Z rendah kot sebab iron from makanan yg Z makan pagi n tgh hari kurang diserap.. Its all makes sense for me now..

Anyway, doc mona suruh buat blood test for thyroid n iron. Besok la mama bawak Z g Temple Street. Tengok la result macam mana nanti.. Kalau memang sbb iron, thats easy, ambik supplement. Jangan la sebab thyroid (or worst tatau sebab apa..) Harap-harap hair loss ni hanyalah temporary. Hopefully it will stop soon and Z's hair will grow back to normal. Aminn...

Heartache

Pagi tadi mama marah Z. Mama dah lambat, then Z pulak sibuk melarikan diri n main2 bila mama nak tukar baju sebab kotor kena cereal. Jenuh terkejar2. Dah la mama ada meeting, ya Allah.. memang berasap pagi nih. Terus ter naikkan suara. Z pun apa lagi, terus la melalak.. tercebik2 sambil pegang2 tangan mama. Paling terkilan tu, mama x pujuk pun Z, ignore and continue siap2 Z and keluar. Dah kat luar baru menyesal.. Sampai sekolah Z mama hugs Z kuat2.. sorry sangat2 sayang.. Tapi Z tak berdendam pun dengan mama..senyum n give me a big hug pastu hantar mama ke muka pintu dan melambai2 macam biasa sampai lah mama hilang dari pandangan..

Bila sampai office, mama rasa sedih sangat.. tahan jer airmata masa meeting tu. Rasa sakit sangat dada mama sepanjang hari ni.. Ya Allah.. kenapalah susah sangat nak menahan kemarahan. Di bulan puasa pulak tu.. :( Benda simple macam tu pun mama nak marah Z ;(

Harini mama nak balik awal. The h**l with my clock.

Mama minta maaf sayang..

On another note, mama baru terserempak dengan big boss tadi. Dia sibuk bertanya berkembangan Z, apa lagi mama pun gunakanlah kesempatan ni untuk menyuarakan kerisauan mama bila kembali kerja full time nanti. Dia suggest mama discuss dengan current manager, and as usual she will support whatever decision I make. Alhamdulillah.. lega sikit.. Walaupun dia bukan direct bos mama lagi, but she still has the power. Sekurang2nya mama rasa tenteram sikit. Mama yakin akan ada penyelesaiannya nanti untuk Z.

Cuma sekarang hati mama sedikit ragu2 untuk jadi a full time mom. Is this the best for Z? Mama rasa Z lagi banyak dapat benefit from school. But if I took career break, tak mampu lah nak hantar Z ke sekolah sekarang. Kena hantar ke sekolah lain and only for 2/3 half day per week. Z dah serasi sangat dengan sekolah sekarang. Unless mama dapat keje part-time. Macam sekarang. Boleh dapat benefit on both world

But the main question is... Can I be a GOOD MOTHER? Sigh...

Autism / GDD

We've done our evaluations (4 sessions) with the Psychologist, not for autism - but for Global Development Delay instead. According to Maeve (the Psychologist) it is quite difficult to do autism assesment on Z at the moment because he is too young, however if the signs still persistence in 1-2 years then they will do the test for autism.

We have received the report last week and to no surprise, Z is significantly delayed in term of his developement. Banyak kali Maeve tanya mama, are you surprise with the result? No, of course not. I know he is delayed long ago, that's why I am worry and thats why the issue about autism arised and that also the reason why I took unpaid leave.

The good thing is (according to Maeve), she thinks some of his autism signs has dissappeared. If based on her initial assesment 6/7 months ago, Z does tick a lot of boxes for autism. Now only few issues left and most of it can be explained by his developmental delayed. For example hands flapping. Katanya babies memang suka shake their hands and arms when they excited.. ok.. (as far as I remember, Z's has been doing this since he was 10 months I think). Then pointing, baby memang tak pandai pointing lagi.. hmm.. ok make sense.. So basically Z is still at a baby stage (10-16 months), that's why he do and can not do what he supposed to do. And the fact that he has improved a lot for the last couple of months, meaning he is able to learn, just the pace isnt the same as any other toddler or even to other DS kids.

So the plan is to continue support him, more therapies, more exercise and hopefully he will reach his milestones soon.

Alhamdulillah, mama rasa berbaloi penah lelah mama for the last 7/8 months. Yes he is significantly delay, but he does improved a lot. Autism is only a diagnosis, a label. I am working on the symptoms. It doesnt matter what the label is. I hope Z will reach his full potential and I believe he will. And of course I will continue to do the very best for him :)

peace.. :)

NEXT Sale (again)

Macam biasa, masuk jer bulan July, keje mama adalah check NEXT website - tunggu sale hehe.

This time sale start at 5am. Plan dgn anti yat n la pukul 4.30 kat depan pintu kedai. So lepas sahur terus siap2 (sahur pukul 3!). First time sampai awal nih. Anty yat pulun nk borong baju baby. She's expecting a girl :). Dah 2 boys, sangat excited nk dpt girl :)

Beratur elok jer.. kalau tak bertolakan..

Kali ni mama puji pihak pengurusan Next. For the first time, the queue went smoothly dalam dan luar. Diorang cuma allowed 30-50 people at one time. So x de la hiruk pikuk macam before. Dulu walaupun diorang sekat2 jugak, tapi they let too many people in. Akibatnya memang sesak. Nak pilih susah nak bayar pun kena queue sampai 2 jam. This time sejam jer mama spent dlm kedai (children) tu. Memang selesa!

Anyway mama x plan nak beli banyak pun. Baju Z banyak lagi yg x pakai. Cuma lately panas teramat. So mama plan nak carik t shirt n seluar yang nipis2 sikit. Shirt Z yg ada sekarang mostly polo. Ada 2-3 jer tshirt biasa.

Z punye

But of course la bila dah sale jadi rambang mata :D. Hopefully summer panas ni berpanjangan la.. Kalo tak rugi aje baju2 baru tu hehe..

Untuk mama n papa, dapat la sorang 2 pasang. Utk summer jugak.. Tapi mama n papa boleh pakai lagi taun depan depan depan.. So x membazir (chewah). Untuk Z tu kalau boleh pakai sekali dua jer agak membazir la jugak kot.. Takpe la.. Its half price! Hiihihi..


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Salam Ramadhan

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

PreSchool (& Summer is here)

Z supposed to start pre-school in September. Mairead dah arranged SNA (Pembantu khas untuk Z ketika dalam kelas) and Giraffe has been informed. He will go for half week preschool for 2 years. Pre school kat Giraffe jugak. Habis sekolah, masuk balik toddler room. That's the plan.

But everybody forgot that he was born in August 2010! So umur Z baru 3 tahun 3 minggu on 1st Sept!

To be eligible for free preschool scheme, a child must be aged between 3yrs 2 months and 4 years something. Mama tak tahu pulak kena umo 3 thn 2 bulan!! Mama ingatkan 3 tahun on the dot. Baru semalam mama baca betul2, terus call Mairead. Mairead pun terus menggelabah. Call sana sini nak tanya if anything we can make to be exempted from the conditions. Unfortunately no.

So we (mama & Mairead) decided to go ahead with the preschool since SNA pun dah ada kan.. Cuma kena bayar sendiri la. Problem is I dont know if the school will accept Z now. I am not sure how much different we have to pay and paling tension, mama baru jer berangan nak cuti tanpa gaji lagi. Kalau dah kena bayo preschool tu satu hal la, masalahnya mama tak tahu lah sekolah Z nak terima ke tak kalau mama nak hantar Z preschool saje - no daycare. Rugi la diorang kot sebab daycare yang make profit. Pre school shouldnt be that costly walaupun private sebab 3 jam jer sehari. And in Z case 2/3 hari jer seminggu. Giraffe Z nih ada 1 kelas jer untuk preschool, mesti diorang nak utamakan kids yang stay full time kat situ. Kalau under Govt scheme, nak tak nak diorang kena juga ambik Z. Now?..

Plan asal nak register jer Z for preschool dulu. Kalau mama nak ambik career break pun, maybe nov/dec baru boleh start kot. once Z place dah secure, kita blah la yer.. (chewah, confident jer mama nak cuti tanpa gaji ni.. papa tengah pening kepala x habis2 lagi.. hahahahah). Tapi what if the school tak nak terima Z sebab he is not under government scheme? Payah. Abistu SNA tu nak buat apa? takkan la nak tunggu Z kat toddler class sekarang..Kalau mama benti keje, memang tak mampu ler nak bayar toddler class, kena ambik paling kurang 2 full days per week, thats 600 euro (they dont accept half day) costly plus apa mama nak buat kat rumah kalau Z seharian di sekolah.. Kena carik sekolah lain la pulak yang accept preschool only. Ada jer, mostly montessory la untuk kids before 3 yrs. x de la mahal pun.. cuma masalah nak biasakan Z dengan new environment jer la pulak..sayang la nak tinggalkan Giraffe sebab Z dah biasa kat situ.. hmmm..

Anyway, summer has kick in. Actully we got 1 week of sunshine early June, then cuaca kembali kepada asal - sejuk dan mandom. But this weekend cuaca kembali menyinar :D Hopefully it will stay this way for few more days.. I really miss the sunshine..

Actually, I really miss Malaysia.. Nak balikkkk Malaysia!!! Nak bercuti.. am so stress and not really in the mood of doing any work at the moment.. Monday blues jer kot.. sigh.. sedih tengok Z tercebik2 kat sekolah pagi tadi. Classmate dia sorang nama Pooja (Indian girl), suka nk buli Z. Mama dah perasan lama dah. tatau ler sebab dia nak get my attention ke apa, sebab tiap kali mama hantar Z, mesti dia nk datang manja2 dengan mama (Mama ada rupa mak dia kot). Tapi yang tak tahan tu, mesti nak tepuk2 kepala Z la, tujal2 hidung Z la. Tadi dia g curah pasir kat badan Z. Tension jer Z, terus cebik2. Budak2, tak kan la mama nak ambik hati sangat kan.. tapi kalau dah tiap2 hari.. grrr!

(Jalan2 sekitar rumah jer.. papa was oncall on Sunday)

Demi Masa (Venting Entry)

This week is the beginning of our new working hours (Office mama in particular and Public Service in general). Sebelum ni we have to work 6.55 hours per day, now we have to work for 7.25 hours per day. New office hour 9am - 5.30pm. Nampak macam normal. But it's freaking hard! Mainly because we are not used to it kot.

We have Flexi Hour and we could take up to 1.5 days flexi leave provided that our clock have enough balance. I love flexi hour. Sangat membantu terutama ketika cuti tahunan dah habis macam sekarang. So bila Z ada appointment time mama x cuti, mama just ambik half day flexi leave. Of course you can work out your clock. 

Everyday mama sampai office around 9.30 (lambat, but that what work best). Sepatutnya mama keje sampai pukul 5.30 la. Tapi mama selalu balik 5.45 camtu and mama juga ambik shorter lunch break. on average sehari mama boleh simpan 30-45 mins. Cukup lah untuk ambik 2-3 kali half day setiap bulan untuk appointment.

Masalahnya sekarang, kalau mama masuk pukul 9.30, mama kena keje sampai pukul 6! Mana sempat nak pegi jemput Z before skolah tutup pukul 6.15? ok, mama lunch sekejap 40 min. Mama boleh la balik pukul 5.40. Persoalannya sekarang, macam mana mama nak kumpul masa?? Especially bila mama start full time balik nanti? 

Plan mama, bila dah keje full time nanti, mama nak ambik half day off every week so boleh set Z appointment time tu. Sebulan dah 2 hari just for regular (theraphy) appointments. Belum lagi Hospital appointment.On average maybe 3 hari sebulan kot kena cuti. Setahun? Mana cukup cuti mama. Nak balik Msia lagi. Sakit lagi. Kalau ada flexi hour membantu la jugak, but still not enough actually.

So how? ok boleh la datang awal sikit. Pukul 9. Tapi kalau nak sampai office pukul 9, pukul 8.30 dah kena keluar. aiyooo mana sempat. Nanti Z lapar pulak kat sekolah.. why? Sebab Z cuma breakfast di rumah. Dia memang tak nak makan di sekolah. pukul 10 snack time, memang dia x penah layan cikgu kata. Tengah hari baru lunch (yang mama bekalkan). Tea selalunya soup, pun dia x layan. Ptg snack makan yogurt ok la. Sebab tu mama reluctant nak keluar awal. Nampak gayanya terpaksa jugak la kot.. huhuhuu..

but that only solved half of the problem. Appointment2 Z nih, macam mana.. Seminggu at least 2 appointment. Maximum mama boleh ambik cuti pun half day jer. Kalau kena 2 tempat berbeza, tak ke haru.. 

Honestly I dont think I could come back full time. Seriously. Need to discuss with 'acting' manager tu jugak la.. sigh...

Btw, why we are expanding our working time? Sebab this is how the Irish govt nak potong gaji public servant. For the last 4 years our salary has been reduced bit by bit. tak x mampu nak reduced lagi dah, thats why tambah waktu keje pulak. God knows what they will cut next year.. sigh.. sebabtu la ramai kawan2 mama dah balik Msia for good. Ekonomi sangat teruk sekarang. Maybe kita pun dah kena balik kot..